Article
老婆:说人话。
老公:来一炮好吗？
老婆:速战速决。
老公:没问题，三分钟。
2、 在火车上我旁边坐了个辣妈身材超好，突然她怀里的小孩哭了一下，
我连忙说：孩子饿了，喂他点奶。辣妈说：你再掐我孩子一下试试
3、相亲中
女：你有房么？男：木有，
女：你有车么？男：木有，
女：哼，穷鬼，你以前有过女友么？
男：有过两个，都分了，女：嫌你穷吧？
男：不是，嫌我的那个太大，受不了。
女：今晚你有空吗？
4、今天家里安排我去相亲，我如约而至，一看对方居然是个女神级别的，
我刚坐下 女孩和我握了握手，大笑道：哈哈哈！ 单身久了手都起老茧了，是吧？
不过以后有了老娘，就不用造孽你的手了！
我。。。。。。
5、周末了，一哥们说叫我到他那里玩，表示现在混的还不错，坐拥市井繁华。说请吃西餐，吃海鲜，特色披萨，住海景房，我欣然前往。
现在老子发现老子上当了，这家伙真请我吃西餐（稀饭），吃海鲜（醋浸海带丝），特色披萨（鸡蛋灌饼）。住的真是海景房（护城河边上铁皮屋，这家伙在这上班，看商业圈的停车场）。
我只想说，哥们，不装能死么？
6、 今天女朋友出差，告诉我，她买了一件性感睡衣。
我说：“好想你啦，给我发张照片吧。” 女朋友问我是穿着照还是脱了照。
我大喜，答：“脱了照。” 晚上（就在刚刚），
我收到一张挂在衣架上的性感睡衣照……
7、某天下班回家，媳妇拿着儿子零分的考试卷子。
冲我吼到：这就是当年你率领千万精英
攻打了老娘辛辛苦苦守了二十年得地方留下的精兵中的精兵？
8、 给女朋友开房。她说她是第一次，我说我也是。
过程中各种姿势我们都会。完事之后，她看看我，我看看她，
我们俩都会心地笑了
9、 一天二货老公和儿子在床上聊天，老公:儿子你喜欢谁？
以后要找什么样的媳妇？儿子 :我喜欢俺奶 我奶对我最好了，我以后要娶俺奶。
老公:TMD那是我妈你不能娶我妈
儿子:你TMD你还娶我妈了，我为啥就不能娶你妈了
10、 今天，在厕所玩飞机大战游戏，估计时间有点长了。
突然。老爸来敲门。问干什么呢。半天不出来。
我说打飞机呢！！！我爸说儿子啊，该找女朋友了。不对啊。
爸...爸...你听我解释...
11、 结婚两年了，我一直以为他是爱我的，
事事顺着我我甘愿做个家庭主妇，我觉得世间的幸福不过如此了，
直到我的手机没电了用他的手机给闺密发了条短信:
“宝贝，我手机没电了！”回曰:“明白，亲爱的今晚大成宾馆302！”
12、 老婆总是一边拿着手机打电话还一边在找手机，我手机不见了！
电话那头老公说你快找找，枕头下面有吗？没有。电视机后面呢？没有。
车子后备箱看了吗？床底下有没有？都没有，
老公说唉，我现在马上回家帮你找，二货老婆真是二货，我挂电话了啊。
13、小王出差去外地，买了个新手机卡。心血来潮想逗下二货老婆，就给她发个信息。
小王:嗨，美女，晚上有空么？
老婆:你是？
小王:我是你的嫖客。。。
老婆:我现在有老公了，不做！
小王：嘿嘿，就知道老婆不会做对不起我的事。
14、 闺蜜和她老公吵架，来我家小住，
家里只有两把钥匙，老公一把，我的给闺蜜了。
有天我提早关门，在家门口听到老公对闺蜜说：
你们苏北的女人怎么下面这么黑？看起来好脏的样子。
尼玛，我这暴脾气，一气之下门砸了，还未进门就听见闺蜜说：
我们苏北，吃面条就是喜欢用酱油拌着吃的。
不说了，弱弱的问大家，修门哪家强？
15、 昨天刚跟一少妇啪啪啪！她说她老公出差了没怎么快回来，
所以我就留了一把钥匙，到了第二天傍晚的时候我想给他惊喜，
偷偷的跑去她家，一开门听见了哼声，然后见一男一少妇看着我，
我机智的回答:表姐我回来了，男的连忙塞了我口袋两千元，麻烦不要告诉你姐夫。
Previous article:
美国司法神话后面的世界8 (10 years ago)
Next article:
美国司法神话后面的世界9 (10 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
