Article
2. 一日，我问大师：“可不可以用一部电影形容我的人生？”大师想了想说：“《无间道》吧。”我说：“你是说我的人生是在好人与坏人间纠结交错中选择吧？”大师微微一笑说：“我是说你的电影没有女主角……主角……角……”
3. 朋友问：“近来忙啥呢？”我答：“没啥，就是投资体育项目，或搞搞慈善事业。”朋友：“哇，成功人士啊。”我笑而不语，转身离开后，偷偷从兜里掏出一张大乐透、一张双色球，哎！又没中！
4. 单位聚餐，上来一条鱼，老总把鱼眼挑给副总，说这叫高看一眼。把鱼骨头提出来给财务部主任，叫中流砥柱。把鱼尾给了办公室主任，叫委以重任。把鱼肚子给了人力部主任，叫推心置腹。把鱼鳍给了市场部主任，叫展翅高飞。最后，盘了只剩下一堆鱼肉。老总摇摇头说:“这个烂摊子还得我收拾啊！”
5. 半夜睡不着，爬起床来走到阳台去抽支烟，发现一只蟑螂，于是跟它聊了很长时间。把我对老婆的不满，对上司的不爽，对老板的压榨通通发泄给它听。烟抽完了，于是我狠狠一脚踩死了它，睡觉了。。。没办法，你丫知道的太多了！
6. 在班上老板娘突然来了。抓紧跑去去告诉老板，老板正和女秘书亲热，看他刚要大怒，我说老板娘来了。结果这逼一把把秘书推我怀里，提高嗓门:小王啊，上班要注意影响，两口子有事回家解决，下次再跑我办公室来，你就自己辞职吧！我看着老板娘羞愧的低下头！第二天我当上了项目部经理，幸福来得太突然……
7.妈妈昨晚坐在我床边语重心长的说，当初就该早早的把你嫁出去，照你这么懒你老公肯定不愿意跟你过下去了，就算离婚也年轻容易找下一家，再说吧，离婚一次了，得到教训会变得勤快点，这样你的人生就圆满啦，，，圆满，，，啦，，，，这是亲妈吗？
8. 过年了，工地上的钱一直要不过来，老妈带着两个侄女去要账，一个一岁，一个两岁，老妈只能抱一个，另一个谁在地下就哭。结果侄女替换着哭，包工头受不了把钱给了，想想也是醉了。
9. 学生：口字加舍字念啥？老师：念啥。学生一脸茫然：“老师我不知道，所以才问你。老师：这个字它念啥。学生：我真不知道它念啥。老师沉住气：你想知道它念啥，但是你又不知道它念啥，它就念啥。学生一脸茫然：？？老师终于火了：B孩子，老师不认识，自己查字典！
10. 理科生和文科生的祖先：在原始社会一批人负责狩猎一批人负责采集。狩猎的因为“要吃肉！打不过！发明个工具弄死你！”于是成了理工科人的祖先。 采集的往往“啊！又花了一下午看太阳下山，果子没摘够，得找个借口编个故事…”于是成了文科生的祖先。
11. 我经常鼓励现在的80后、90后，不要听有些人瞎忽悠，说你这不行，那不行，100年前的80后、90后也是到处被人家看不起，说他们是垮掉的一代，结果怎么样？人家成立了中华人民共和国。
12. 各位童鞋，如果下次你们被老师收了手机，请大胆的拿起电话拨打110…老师强行没收你手机是抢劫罪，不管给不给带手机，那都是你的私人财产。如果是在宿舍收就叫入户抢劫，如果收了多人的手机或者多次收手机，按照刑法，判刑是3～10年的！另外如果他在没收过程中恐吓你，这也是要判两年的！感觉爽不？
Previous article:
2.17 (11 years ago)
Next article:
2.19 (11 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
