Esim - 2.17
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在加油站自助加油的时候我发现,男司机加完一般都会晃几下油枪让剩余的油滴完再放回去,而女司机一般不会这么做。

“朝廷下了公文,明日午时三刻在菜市口开刀问斩。我给你带来了酒菜,来来来,这是你最后一顿饭,吃完了好上路。”听完,我脑子嗡的一声,眼泪紧接着就掉了下来:“明天早晨不管饭啊...”

小时候每次看电视里面有女扮男装的姑娘,然后别人还一直把她当男人看,一起吃喝一起睡觉的我就觉得很扯,这一眼不就能瞧出来吗。
现在长大了才懂,这好事放谁身上谁会说?古代人都有大智慧啊。。

当我把一张中了500万的彩票递给工作人员看时,大家立即投来羡慕的目光!我立刻拿出第二张,还是500万,大家惊呆了!我又拿出第三张,空气仿佛停止了流动!我正准备拿出第四张时,…… …… 老婆咣的一脚把我踹醒了:“喝了点猫尿,睡觉也不老实,看把孩子的书撕的一页一页的,还笑的那么开心。”


跨省打架哪家强、中国山东找蓝翔!全世界办证哪家强、中国随便找面墙!全世界舞艺哪家强、中国广场老大娘!全世界妓女哪家强、中国东莞洗澡堂!全世界猛男哪家强、熊大熊二光头强!全世界土匪哪家强、中国城管最排场!全世界富豪哪家强、中国贪官最风光!

一对夫妻不小心出了车祸,丈夫没有什么大碍,妻子却受伤极重面临死亡,丈夫坐在妻子的床边握着她的手,身体不断的抽搐着,妻子说:你能……不能答应……我……一件事?丈夫抬起头艰难的说:不管任何事我都无条件的答应你。妻子说:你……他妈的能……不能……不要笑的这……么开心。

小时候我妈教育我基本都是武力解决……
现在我长大了也有了宝宝……
但是如果我也想对宝宝武力一下,我妈又会冲过来先把我武力解决了……!
我可能……真的……是冲话费送的吧…………!

今天走在路上,聽到兩個妹子的對話 今天下午去洗澡啊? 好啊 順便搓個背啊? 我就10塊錢,搓個奶啊! 當時我差點沒忍住,妹子,我给你10塊,我幫你搓奶,保證舒服!

“你开开门好吗,我爱你啊!我那么多次鼓起勇气敲响你家的门。你明明有听到吧!为什么你从来都不开门?”郭敬明泫然欲泣的站在韩寒家的门前。   
与此同时,韩寒困惑的第无数次从猫眼里看着空无一人的门外,“是时候找人来驱驱邪了”他这样想着。

有一次生病输液,坐着玩手机在龙空刷帖,时间过的飞快,一抬头看见瓶子见底了,顿时慌神了,就喊道“:服务员,满上”此后我是这家门诊的名人了,额为门诊带盐!

公厕上大号门坏了,用手把着门,结果被人拽出来了...

小时候走夜路,总感觉有人在后面跟着我,于是就养成了走几步路回头的习惯,十年之后…我成了探戈老师

刘备在洞房花烛夜当晚,前戏过后,淫笑着对娇 妻说:“该是老二出场的时候了!”?顿时,关羽破门而 入,大喊道:“多谢大哥!”搂过嫂子说:“就让你见识见 识我小弟的厉害!”?话音刚落,张飞跃窗而入,大喊 道:“多谢二哥……”只见张飞一把抓住大嫂的奶子,长吼 一声:该是我长枪弟弟显威风的时候了!这是赵云破墙 而入说到“多谢三哥,只见赵云搂过嫂子淫笑道:让你见 识见识我超大弟弟厉害! 话音刚落,只见马超从天而降 道:多谢云哥,说罢便摸着嫂子的臀部淫笑道:让嫂嫂 见见连射三箭的厉害,突然黄忠瞬间从床下钻出并狂笑 道:那老夫就不客气了!!黄忠解下裤带淫笑道:嫂嫂,看我亮出宝具。说时迟那时快,诸葛亮从衣柜中翻了出来,轻摇羽扇道:看来你们眼里还有我这个军师啊

问:射精后为什么会感到空虚?
回复:射精之后整个人感到平静、空虚、安详的感觉,是因为人处于一个叫着“贤者状态”的状态。
一般是因为射精之后大脑会分泌一点雌性激素来让你稳定下来,不再想再来一发。其实这是一种人类经过数千年繁衍进化出来的一种自我保护机制,防止过度性生活。
贤者状态也有其可以加以利用的一方面,
比如在你需要作出重大决定(尤其是与性相关,比如是否接盘一个绿茶)的时候,强烈建议你先去洗手间撸一发,我相信,刚撸完的你,一定是在用上半身思考问题。
新技能,贤者之撸!


“初中的时候,和几个哥们成立了一个青龙帮,后来不知咋的被班主任发现了,硬生生给改成了青龙学习小组。。。”

家里有孩子,所以有时候沟通得注意
老公:老婆,今晚我想耕地
老婆:不行,刚被洪水淹了
老公:那我换块地可行?
老婆 :我嘴上火了,不要废话了

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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