Esim - 2.16
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刚刚女朋友打电话来:“亲爱的,你在干嘛呢?”
“我睡觉呢。”
突然音响传来一个声音:“你笨啊!快在中间草丛插眼啊” ……………
猪队友。。。。。。

我的月收入大概在2万左右,加上我老婆,我们总共的月收入大概是每个月三千多。

我发现公司最有前途的岗位是前台… 十年来该岗位诞生了一位老板娘, 一位小三,一位副总经理,一位行政总监,一位营销总监一位财务总监…… 但是情况在三年前发生了改变,老板娘参与了前台人员招聘工作…… 然后这个岗位就此没落了……

写作业我就发现我的桌子好好玩,转笔好好玩,我的指甲好好玩,拖鞋也好好玩,手机好好玩,电脑好好玩,就连看空气发呆都变得有趣起来了。。。

“我只抱着你,什么都不做”
“我只摸两下!”
“让我蹭蹭,绝不进去”
“我进去绝对不动,在里面待着就好”
“我只动两下”
…………
啪,“你他么的两下呢,还差一下!!”

真人真事,儿子六岁,调皮摔了跟头,擦破一点头皮。次日带他洗澡,拒绝洗头,问他原因:怕脑子进水。

每天女友出门前,我都非常关心地叮嘱她:“过马路前一定要看两边,小心交通,不要被车撞到。”毕竟俗话说了,人怕出名,猪怕撞。“
楼主,卒。。。。。。

办公室一群人聊甄嬛传,一个同事说:我最喜欢看皇帝翻牌子那段,我要有机会翻牌子,我就翻一块。
然后说:这个不要,其他都留下!

记得小时候的梦想是天天吃方便面,结果长大以后终于实现了这个梦想。
我在想该用什么表情来表达实现愿望的心情

班上一妹纸脸皮厚很自恋,但长像却不敢恭维。。。。。。一天上自习课,她特突然的对同桌(男)说“那些有车有房的男生才能配得上我”全班女生投来崇拜的目光。她同桌连头都没抬的来了一句“我回家就把车和房卖了”全班男生膜拜!

某少妇在微信上写到:我家老公昨天和别人家的老婆出去旅游,迄今未归。我则被人家老公折腾一夜,好累哦!
......
点赞一片,评论无数。
其中有个名为“老公“评论到:我只不过陪女儿去毕业旅行,而你负责在家留守,照顾三岁儿子,要不要写的这么刺激啊……不装逼,你会死啊!

地震前有三个明显征兆:1.井水异常;2.畜生反应异常;3.专家出来辟谣。但细心的人指出,第二条和第三条重复了

唐僧:女王啊,你用其它女子的ID,在网上挑逗贫僧,贫僧上钩了,这说明什么?说明贫僧花心?不。这说明,就算你换个名字,贫僧也一定会爱上你。无论何时何地,以何种方式出现,贫僧都会在茫茫人海中认出并爱上你,无法自拔,绝无幸免.

小明:“老师, 为什么鲁迅的儿子 姓周啊?”
老师:“鲁迅是笔名, 本人姓周”
小明:“你他妈 蒙谁呢? 周迅 是女的”
老师:“出去站着,,,”

有个傻冒告诉我鲁迅姓周,真逗啊!周迅是个演员好吗?笑死我了!鲁迅原名李大钊,浙江周树人,是著名的反法西斯音乐家,一生有2000多项发明,太空步的创始人。他拥有一个好嗓子,小学时就凭借着90分钟跑100米的优异成绩考上了新东方烹饪学校!毕业后进入富土康苦心练习勃鸡,他擅长110米栏,左手反打技术高超,拿手全垒打,大灌篮,“后空翻180度右旋体360度后蹬地翻转720度”是他的经典动作,更难得可贵的是他落地没有水花。他还是恶魔果实能力者,传说中的三忍之一,曾大闹天宫,后改邪归正,统一三国,他有107个弟兄,个个铜头铁臂面目狰狞,这便是羊村的起源,后遇到阿凡达的指点,打死了白雪公主,与七个小矮人快乐的生活在一起!并写了名侦探柯南的故事,讲述的是要成为海贼王的八神太一收服皮卡丘并登上创界山启动光能使者打败了鲨鱼辣椒,然后跟多啦A梦一起通过黄金十二宫收集七个葫芦娃召唤神龙复活二代火影的故事.

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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