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2. 一对小情侣吵架，女孩很生气，哭着对男孩喊：“你这个大骗子！！”本来男孩也是一副生气的样子，听见女孩这样说，一副心疼的表情，抬手抹去女孩脸上的泪水，轻轻的说：“吵架归吵架，别骂人啊，你才大屁眼子！”
3. 我才结婚不久，可是完全能够看得出，我的老祖母对我的老婆十分关心和体贴，我的姑姑们买的一些补品，奶奶都会拿出来给我老婆吃。这可气坏了我老妈，于是妈妈就问爸爸：“为什么儿媳妇不招婆婆喜欢，而孙媳妇却招奶奶喜欢？”我巧妙地替爸爸回答道：“这很简单啊，因为敌人的敌人就是朋友。”
4. 同事暗恋女神很久了，每天尾随送之回家。 终于，今天机会来了，路上遇见两个喝醉酒的小青年调戏她， 同事怒吼着冲上去打跑了俩人。 女神说：“谢谢，这次我欠你个人情儿，你有什么要求可以提。 ”同事：“做我女朋友吧。” 女神：“不如这样吧，就当我欠你两个人情儿。”
5. 我有一天去逛街，看到一个人举着牌子，上面写着“我是聋哑小贩，请可怜可怜我，买点苹果吧”我走过去朝着他卖的苹果指了指，然后竖起三根手指，嘴里说：“我要五个苹果。”结果， 他真帮我称了五个苹果。
6. 看4D电影时坐边上的妹子一直在前边鬼哭狼嚎。我忍不住给了她一巴掌，她马上说:“卧槽，效果好逼真，我感觉被打了一下”。
7. 甲：“听说你被炒鱿鱼了，为啥？”乙：“哎！别提了。公司年会聚餐。经理给我倒了杯酒说：量小非君子，来！是男人就把这杯酒闷了。”甲：“你难道没喝么？”乙：“喝了，喝完我拿出一瓶敌敌畏，放他前面说：无毒不丈夫，是男人也把这瓶干了。。。”甲：。。。
8. 今天LG惹我生气了，百般哄我，问我究竟要哪样。我看时机差不多了，扔一盒套套他前面，说：“除非今晚全用完。”等我洗完澡出来，那货在天花板上布置了一堆气球，还挺懂浪漫，一看套套盒空了。。。
9. 我小时候很调皮，放鞭炮，把邻居家的做饭的屋顶点燃了，妈去人家道歉协商回来二话不说就打我！我惹事了，怕妈妈打我手疼，跑到院子准备拿衣架给她让她狠狠打我，说不准妈妈会舍不得打！但是妈看到了喊了声：“孩他爹，你儿子要打我！！！”然后呢。。。然后我就被我爸打的更惨了！追了我三条胡同，嘴里还说：“小兔崽子，养你大了，学会欺负老妈了。”
10. 在地铁上，旁边坐了个美女，我忍不住浮想联翩：地铁一个急停她扑我怀里，我趁势吻下去，她怒了但对我芳心暗许，然后开始交往，谈婚论嫁了，她家要房要车要15万彩礼……想到这里我突然警醒，立马跳起来朝她一巴掌甩下去，怒骂：“你做梦！”
11.邻居开小店的，一提起他家孩子就愁眉苦脸的，最近又被老师请了。因为他家有时会卖些祭祀的金元宝（纸折的那种），孩子发现两三块的金纸折完能卖十元一包，居然拿到学校以三块的价格承包给同学来给他打工，生意居然还不错……你们能想象老师上着课发现下面一帮学生在折元宝的场面吗？要疯了有没有？
12.家里养了二哈一枚。今早带它溜圈，半路遇一金毛，丫冲着人家金毛一顿乱吠，我看它兴致挺高，就放开狗绳。在我放开狗绳的一刹那，那怂货居然回头看了看我，然后不叫了。。不叫了。。。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
