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有位朋友去泰山玩,在一家小面馆点了一份“牛拉面”。后来发现一片牛肉也没有。于是叫来店主论理,得到的答案是:“做面条的师傅姓牛!”朋友当场几乎晕倒,问:“你们就不考虑长久生意吗”店主答曰:“一般的客人一生也就来一次泰山,能到我这儿吃一碗面我已经很幸运了呵呵。”

赌场内,某女士在轮盘赌机前拿不定选什么号码下注,她无奈向身旁的一位年轻英俊的男士请教,那人献策说:“您芳龄几何,就选它。”
女士听后咬唇想了一下,把1000元押在“24”上。赌盘上的小球开始滚动,并最终停在“32”上,女士一看,惨叫一声昏了过去。

昨天一朋友跟我说:要买爱疯6,得去美国。我问为啥,这货来了句,在美国卖肾160万,买个爱疯6才几百块钱,回来再安一个肾,还能买房取媳妇。。。不说了,该过安检了

甲:我最奢侈的是买了一个驴牌包包,2W多呢
乙:我最奢侈的是去迪拜旅游购物,花了10几万
丙:我最奢侈的是给小三买了一套房子,几十W
丁:我在人民医院住了半年...
戊:我今天闲着没事扶了两个摔倒的老太太

今天看到两个妹子吵架,一个说:“你们全家女性装一房子里,那就是怡红院!”

  另一个妹子说:“你们全家男性站一排,那特么就是绿化带!”

  绿化带,我TM笑尿了。

让老公拿个猕猴桃来填填肚子。
“老婆,这猕猴桃还没熟,硬的。”
“怎么可能,买的时候捏过,都熟透了。”
“不信你自己来捏。”
……
“你特么把土豆给我放下!”

现在60后一手遮天,90后无法无天, 00后都被宠上了天,50后的吃喝玩乐天天都是星期天,可怜的70和80后活得是他妈的一天不如一天。有同感的七、八零后转起。七、八零后活的太累了。出道后挣了两个"亿"。一个失忆,一个回忆。

丈夫:“结婚以后,我才知道婚姻是沉重的枷锁!” 妻子:“那当然,所以才要两个人共同承担。”丈夫试着问:“你说要是三个人一起承担这些压力的话,压力会不会减轻些?”

去外地出差,身边坐一妹子,途中都睡着了。
老婆打电话来问我到哪儿了?我说在车上呢,这时边上美女迷迷糊糊的醒了,只听她用很柔弱的声音对我说:“你压我头发了,动一下好吗。”
然后对面就传来了嘟嘟嘟的声音……
尼玛啊,让我哭一会...

某男发说说:妈蛋,最近真倒霉,女友分了,买个充气娃娃也捅破了。
前女友神回复:就你那玩意还捅破?扎破的吧!

如果李亚鹏这场仗想赢就娶狄波拉,想打个平手就娶张柏芝,想气死王菲就娶窦靖童!

鲁迅:“晚安!”。语文老师:“晚安”中“晚”字点明了时间,令人联想到天色已黑,象征着当时社会的黑暗。而在这黑暗的天空下人们却感到“安”,侧面反映了人民的麻木,而句末的感叹号体现了鲁迅对人民麻木的“哀其不幸怒其不争”
大家有没有同感?语文老师真是神奇的物种啊。

女:“你还爱我么"?男:"我一直就爱你啊",女:"那你不直的时候呢"?

生活现状:想过八戒般的生活,却承受着悟空般的压力,但只有沙僧的本事,还时不时能听到唐僧般的唠叨。
神回复:所以要有白龙马一样的资本,只要被骑一下,就很安逸了...

堂姐打电话说在医院里,让去陪她,赶紧问杂地了怎么会住院,答:她把她老公打进医院了。麻溜赶到医院看啥情况……才知道是,堂姐看恐怖片电锯惊魂正紧张时刻,他老公走去拍了下她肩膀,这货受到惊吓操起茶几上的玻璃烟灰缸就拍他头上了……妈蛋,劳资再笑会!

王大爷去医院输液,实习小护士连轧十针没中血管!王大爷忍着痛颤抖的说:小姑娘你姓李吧!小护士惊讶地说:唉呀大爷你咋知道俺姓李呀!王大爷满眼含泪道:'唉我草你吗啊,原来你就是传说中的李十针呀!



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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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