Esim - 1.27
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陪5岁的女儿下跳棋,手机响了,是朋友老侯打来的,就打招呼:“侯哥你好!”这时女儿用崇敬的目光盯着我,一言不发。我聊完放下电话。女儿小声的问:“爸爸,你和孙悟空是怎么认识的?”

女生初中时来大姨妈吓死了!
大学时没来大姨妈吓死了!

今天坐公交车,车上人很多,很挤!这时只听到一个大妈级女子怒斥一年轻小伙子:“你蹭什么蹭、、、”,接着各种怒骂。大家都在看戏,结果那小伙回了一句话“你可以侮辱我的人格,但你不能侮辱我的品味!”

问:“最娘的男人什么样子? ”
大神回复:“打灰鸡用兰花指”

关羽:“大哥,我再也不想跟军师一起出去了。”
刘备:“怎么了,二弟?”
关羽:“每次军师出去都放屁。”
刘备:“这有什么啊?”
关羽:“每次他放完屁,都扇扇子装无辜,
而旁边人一看我的脸色都以为是我放的。“

宿舍一哥们给家人打电话,另一哥们在后面准备千年杀,于是那个哥们的对话如下:喂,爸。。卧槽尼玛!!

如果你开车发现一个女司机突然打开了雨刮,但是明明是大晴天,那么请注意她一定是要转弯了。

小明:经理1我要请假?
经理:怎么了,为什么请假
小明:我老婆要生孩子……
经理:那你快去,这事可不能耽误
于是,小明飞似的跑了。……二十分钟后,衣衫不整的回来了……
经理问道:这么快,男孩女孩?
小明:这个还不知道,要十个月以后才知道……
经理:你滚出去……

一小时前一个男子兴高采烈的买了一盒TT走了,就刚才垂头丧气的回来又买了包安尔乐……他好可怜!

上次一同学问我厕所WC的全称是什么?我一下子觉得自己白学10年英语了。 不知道是WC全称是water closet的同学默默转走吧。


“同学们上课都挺累的吧,我给大家讲个西游的故事放松一下吧,话说师徒一行西去,被白骨精盯上了,悟空去给师父找吃的,用金箍棒在地上画了一个圈,半径两米,问面积是多少?”“老师你够了!”

今天去医院挂号,直接给了张100块,医生说:没有零钱吗?我说:在医院看病100块不就是零钱嘛……

有一个死刑犯正坐在电椅上将要被执行死刑,执行官问他:“你就要死了,在死前你还有什么愿望吗?”犯人颤抖地说:“我好害怕啊,等会我可以抓着你的手吗?”

惊闻汽油降价一毛!全国人民欢天喜地,有公民表示:此次降价好比在长江里打了个鸡蛋,从此全国人民都喝上了鸡蛋汤,倍感欣慰。继北京出台95岁的老人看病不要钱后,山东立即宣布100岁以上老人可免费登泰山,河南则同意对110岁上老人放宽二胎政策,深圳立即实施对120岁以上老人免费分房的惠民措施,上海大胆创新对130岁以上老人取消一夫一妻制。亲们,天儿冷了,一定要保重身体呀,好日子还在后头呀

他是学霸,她是学渣,她爱他,于是她向他表白:“我喜欢你认真学习的样子!”他笑了,缓缓地说:“第一次有人向我表白,先让我做份卷子冷静一下!”

“数学的力量是什么?”“抄完答案看不懂!”“语文的力量是什么?”“看完答案不想抄!”


20岁的男人xxoo像吃饭,一顿不吃都难受。 30岁的男人xxoo像睡觉,两天不睡怎么行。 40岁的男人xxoo像洗澡,三天不洗一下自己也有点难为情。
50岁的男人xxoo像欠人钱,你不开口我绝不给你。 60岁的男人xxoo像自杀未遂,一次能要半条命。 , 70岁的男人xxoo像童话,记得很久以前……

婚礼前新郎问主婚人:主持一场婚礼多少钱?主婚人说:老婆越美钱越多。新郎不好意思的给了一块钱。主婚人一愣,回头看了一眼新娘,然后找了5毛…

话说在林宥嘉的演唱会上,当《你是我的眼》唱到高潮部分。
林宥嘉:大家一起来,“你~是~我~的……”
全场观众吼:“小~呀~小~苹果,怎么~爱你~都不嫌多……”
光是想到就醉了!

刚才看电视上说,最近有一种新型餐厅很受欢迎:女孩子一律免单,但条件是要和男士合桌,女孩子吃喝的费用,全由男士们买单。老妈看了撇撇嘴:“这不就是变相的夜总会么!啊老头子你说是不是?” 老爹推了推眼镜,答道:“我也没去过夜总会,不知道一不一样啊……” 当时我就给老爹的反应速度跪了

刚玩**的时候看到的:
**里面卖棺材都是包邮的,心情变好了。
奇葩的是有条评论写到:已经入土五天了,感觉里面很干爽。
今天才附体成功,借别人补个好评。好卖家!有空下来玩哦。

一男子跟女朋友分手了,原因是‘你给不了我想要的’ 几个月后看到她被一个土不拉几的男人抱在怀里 遂大怒:你他妈当初不就是嫌我穷吗?这小子就比我好啦???? 女子冷笑:介绍下,他叫王大柱…… 大柱……大……

今天和老爸老妈说带女朋友回家,给两老人家过目
不料女朋友突然要出差,结果回家的路上遇到表弟
所以和他一起回我家吃饭
结果刚进门,老爷子一个杯子飞过来,大喊:你这畜生!……

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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