Esim - 1.10
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1. 在疾行的列车上,一个人问乘客:“这位乘客你买到火车票了吗?”乘客甲:“买到了。”“旁边这位呢?”乘客乙:“买到了。”又问了十几个人,都说买到了。这个人高兴地说:“原来大家都买到票了,原来票不难买啊。”列车长一巴掌扇了过来:“让你查个票你就这样查的?!”
2. 小女嘟嘟自幼聪慧,两三岁时,常有惊人之语。嘟嘟发烧,老婆带她去打针。嘟嘟很害怕,一到诊所就哭闹不止。医生连忙说:“不是给嘟嘟打针,是给妈妈打针。”边说医生边悄悄给嘟嘟屁股上来了一针。没想到这回嘟嘟反而停止了哭闹,很认真地对医生说:“阿姨,你打错了。”
3. 没恋爱以前她总是骑着她的粉红色小单车,遇到红灯都是下车,重来不单腿着地,说话比蚊子还小,现在把哥征服以后终于漏出真面目了,整天骑摩托,时不时来个漂移,把劳资鼻涕泡都甩出来了,重点是昨天打扫卫生,我竟然翻出了她女子45公斤级省散打亚军证书!骗子,女人都是骗子!
4. 记得初中时有一哥们,趴在桌上抠鼻屎抠得正嗨。。。班主任走过来,以为他在玩手机,一巴掌往他头上拍去,于是乎,那哥们的一根手指插在流血的鼻孔里,幽怨无比的对班主任吼道:“挖鼻屎有错吗!!!”
5. 在公交车上吃完烤肠后,我挤到后门将棍子扔到门边的垃圾桶里,旁边的大姐看了我好几眼,我想哥的素质就是这么高,从不乱扔垃圾。车靠站了,大姐拎起桶就下车了……
6. 一男刚交一女友,带去开房,完事过后女生娇羞的说:“这是我的第一次!”男:“我也是第一次!”女孩更羞涩了,男生说:“我会好好照顾你的。”随即点了跟烟,女问:“为什么你们男生做完以后都爱抽烟啊?”“习惯了!”
7. 坐公交车,到站时,一个男子偷了另一个男子的手机迅速跑下车逃之夭夭!然后那个被偷的男子对我说“兄弟,不好意思,借你手机用一下,我的手机有定位,登陆我的邮箱就知道我手机在哪里了!”于是我就借给了他,没想到他拿着我的手机飞奔下车……跑了!……留下我凌乱…
8. 老弟10岁,早上叫我起床我没搭理,他就捏住我鼻子想把我憋醒,我故意一动不动,也不笑不睁眼。大概过了20秒,老弟赶紧松手了,用手在我鼻子下面试我的呼吸,我依然不动,他就呼我的脸,拽我的头发,我忍着就是不动,然后熊孩子就哭着去找我妈了。。。
9. 梁山泊要开年会,各部门纷纷上报年度财务报表,朱贵负责的酒店、铁扇子宋清负责的招待宴请费用巨额亏损;林冲负责的军训费用严重超支;李逵负责的酿酒工厂资不抵债。。。竟然,连鲁智深、武松负责的交通部门也巨亏!宋江听后勃然大怒,拍案而起:“卧槽,说别的我信,拦路抢劫还能亏损?”
10. 在上海出差,在酒店有点认床,晚上一点多了迷迷糊糊想睡,突然一阵急促敲门声……开门见一妹子,胸露出半个。进门就说“三百一次,脱吧”……可是……哥没点服务呀。算是强买强卖吗。高潮在后面,我说你弄错人了吧。隔壁房间一哥们喊了,”这里这里”……
11.公司新进一女同事,蛮丰满的,胸部也是…咳咳…爆款…行政主管带着她跟我们介绍:这是我们新来的同事,宋波,负责……一猥琐大叔竟然没忍住,脱口而出:真送么?

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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