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1.去年年底给女儿买过一只小乌龟,春节期间养死了,怕她伤心一直没有告诉她。刚才她捡了几颗小石头告诉我要带回家给小乌龟。我说小乌龟没有了,她问为什么,我说:对不起,妈妈把小乌龟养死了。嘟嘟眼泪汪汪的沉默了会,可怜兮兮的对我说:妈妈,你要小心点,别把我养死了啊!

2.曾经有一段时间在外过夜比较频繁。一次早上回去,父亲在大厅坐着,我正要回房间补充睡眠,父亲说~带回来吧!在外面多浪费钱。。。。


3.昨晚和我爸看抗战片,里面两个人搞对象,这是背景,然后我爸问我为什么没有对象,我说上班太忙了没时间,我爸指着电视机对我说,人家抗战都有时间处对象你还没时间。。。。我。。。


4.苦逼手机销售员一名,,,,哥哥,,,,今天一位顾客大妈以我们给她下的捕鱼达人没有别人的鱼好打,要求退机,我想说,阿姨,这个我是没办法控制的!


5.早上老妈往我钱包塞钱的时候,看到了我和男友的亲密照,于是我妈就朝我爸大喊:老头,我们闺女终于糟蹋别人儿子了!


6.简短不割
女友:你什么时候回来跟我结婚?
我:没钱诶,怎么结?
女友:就是因为没钱,结个婚挣点礼金花花。
我:.…

7.和八岁的儿子(超爱看变形金刚神马的)一起看动物世界,热带雨林中五颜六色的鸟非常漂亮,到了交配的季节……大家都懂的,各种尴尬,万一儿子提出问题,我要怎么讲解???gc来了,只听儿子一声惊呼,说道:合体了


8.我寝室一朋友,睡觉有三大特点,第一喜欢蒙着脑袋睡觉,第二喜欢趴着睡觉,第三叫不醒!我们一般要叫醒他的话,都是隔着被子大力甩在屁股上!有一天早上,他却躺着睡....


9.lz大三哥哥,首发,我了个擦,上课的时候,老师问被子和裸子植物有啥区别。结果我旁边一妹子高吼有没有包皮。。。皮。。。


10.本人应届生,每次回家,总有人问我在学校有没有谈女朋友。。。 可俺只能呵呵、 遂说:有 。。 但是在路上弄丢了,太挤了!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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