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2.昨儿，女朋友终于同意去开房了，我是个处，我们一起去成人店买t，我听说dls的比较好，就问，dls一盒多少？老板说35，我觉得还行，就说，那行，来一盒吧，可是女友不答应了，哪里要35了，不一直是25吗，老板可能不好意思骗人，就说，那好吧，25吧，于是我们开开心心去kf了，突然觉得，有个会砍价的女盆友真好，好幸福
ps我们是不是告诉他真相？
3.如果你也打算半夜叫醒打呼噜的室友，那我还是劝你放弃吧，TMD那些畜生是会自卫的啊，直接一脚把你从上铺给踹到下铺去。唉，不说了，说多了都是泪啊
4.小时候，俩同学约架，"放学等着,""等着就等着"。放学后俩人经过血战A把B放倒压在下面，B在底下各种反抗，A在上面各种压制。半小时后，B说"你先放开我，我去尿.尿"A说"放了你,你跑了怎么办"B说"保证不跑".A就放开B让他去尿了。B尿完回来找到原来位置趴下，A上去压住他，俩人又开始了新的一轮战争。现在想想小时候都那么纯洁。
5.那又苦逼又欢乐的逝去的校园时光啊，，，，，，割了不要了，反正没女朋友，，，，，，上大学内会跑网吧通宵玩网络游戏啊，新区开服顶着玩了3天，实在顶不住了就回学校了。昏昏沉沉回了宿舍，别人正在吃午饭。这时候就感觉肚子饿了啊，你知道的，再累的人，肚子饿起来了，想睡也睡不着啊。于是又晕眩着跑到食堂吃饭，吃到一半，肚子已经不饿了，但是这时候我也睡着了。我的脸啊，直接砸在饭盘里了，什么胡萝卜，土豆丝，飞得到处是。惯例这不是GC，GC是边上的一个女生吓坏了啊，以为我挂了啊，当即把饭盘直接扔了，大喊大叫：“天哪，死人啦，这饭菜有毒啊~~~~”
6.和老公吵架，他生气时摔门就走。到楼下时我从窗户问他几点回来？丫的说再回来就是孙子。果断锁门！！！两小时后他在门口一边敲门一边喊奶奶我回来了。。。
7.早上睡得正香就被楼下的骂声闹醒了，.......气不打一出来，穿着睡衣就下去了。尼玛，一下楼，好多人围着一辆车看热闹，一个男的估计是车主，破口大骂。我纳闷了，一顿挤，才挤进去，然后看到了，一辆崭新的 BMW740 车头上被用钥匙刻下了俩字儿....“好车”......我忽然就乐了。哈哈
8.统计局宣布：中国城市人均月收入已突破9000人民币大关。拖祖国后腿的请自觉转发。 看到这个消息我不禁黯然神伤，仔细算算，我何止才拖了祖国的大腿，我都扒到祖国的足部了，对不起，祖国---我挠你脚心了！
9.以前有人问说悟空是石头缝里蹦出来的，那么是谁对石头做了什么呢？
妹纸觉得悟空的亲爹绝逼是土地！纵观西游记，不论悟空如何难为土地，他都不曾拒绝过悟空！这才是亲爹啊！
有木有？
10.今天我的二年级一乖巧可爱女娃写的造句：理想：我的理想是当一名大黄狗，为祖国看门。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
