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1.我有个朋友,体检出了轻微脂肪肝,要说他真是有毅力的人,从此坚持每天四环路骑10公里自行车上班锻炼身体。半年之后再体检,果然,他患了前列腺炎。



2."亲爱的你知道吗,我们女人来大姨妈的时候千万不能去招惹,因为这个时候我们都是暴脾气,完全不讲道理。""瞧你这话说的,就跟平时你们讲过道理似的。"




3.一句话,前女友不一定活在男友的心中,却一定活在现女友的心中。。。


4.邻居家的小屁孩,你长的不像你爹没什么,但你能别这么像我好吗!


5.有个女生,爱上个男生,心甘情愿嫁给他。没新房,就拿学生宿舍做婚居。没家具,就买二手货。没沙发,捡两个废轮胎冒充。女孩的姐姐在他们新婚时送了两床薄被,他们整整盖了34年。这个女生叫周美青,嫁的男生叫马英九。




6.说个朋友的事,他办公室有位漂亮MM,经常收到花,我这朋友呢,又在狂追女生,经常要买花,俩二货一合计,我朋友就用小零食换MM的花!唉,一年过去了,朋友送花行动终止了,美女也没收到花了……又一年过去了,这俩二货给我发请柬了!


7.喜欢一清纯妹子,关系还都不错……不能割,留给妹子用……一次在办公室,孤男寡女的聊天,看着她那红红的小嘴,没忍住就快速的亲了一下,算是偷袭吧,然后一脸坏笑的看着她,妹子用清澈的大眼睛瞪着我,我以为要生气,正要道歉,妹子突然来一句:你这叫接吻吗?然后一个起身把我按到桌子上,法式舌吻三分钟……你说我是不是吃亏了。。


8.新闻联播唯一的一句实话就是:大家好,现在是北京时间19点整!


9.闺蜜和她男朋友喜欢玩角色扮演,喜欢玩这个吧没啥问题呀!老板秘书 护士医生 老师学生啥的多有意思呀,但是他俩喜欢玩村长和小寡妇。。每次男的披个军大衣 女的穿个花棉袄,男的敲门 女的说村长 大晚上的 你来俺家啥事呀 男的一挥手 俺知道你一个人过得苦 俺代表党给你送温暖来了……


10.老公一个人出差不可怕,怕的是和男同事一起出差,既怕他们搞基,又怕他们搞鸡。。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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