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1.一哥们问他老婆当初在众多的追求者中为什么会选择了他,他老婆说只有他不打呼噜。

2.朋友二胎生产前发短信给我说,这次一定要剖腹产,顺产太他妈疼了。。。。割。。。。。。第二天我去看他她问他剖妇产是不是很伤,她飘来一句剖个屁哦,医生还没准备好我就生出来了。。。。。

3.前天和兄弟喝酒,我卖弄学问:知道娼和妓的区别吗?简单说,娼就是站街的,除了xxoo什么都不会,妓则是吹拉弹唱声色艺俱全,所以文人纳妾娶个济女回家不丢人,如果是名妓,还会传为佳话……一哥们头都不抬:废话那么多干啥,简单说娼就是今天的济女,妓就是今天的明星

4.本人待产孕妇,一日中午和同学相约去逛街。。。。割吧。。。。刚走到小区门口,老公打电话,我说出去玩去,就听电话那边,各种咆哮,这么热的天不在家睡觉出去玩啥,孩子生出来黑的话都是你晒的。。。。。

5.今天中午吃饭发现我妈妈剪了头发,真心不好看,于是说:“妈, 你剪的头发真不好看,重找个地方剪吧。。。”俺爹看看我,说:“喂,请你不要评价我老婆,她又不跟你过日子。。。。”我:“........”

6.简短不割。。。。高中全校大会,校领导讲话:你们住校男生,不要在晚上用手电筒照女生宿舍;你们女生,也不要人家一个手电筒照过来,七八个照回去。。。。。

7.就刚刚,新鲜出炉⊙▽⊙⊙▽⊙手机在被同事拿去玩儿,不一会,同事爆笑伴着意味深长的眼神儿把手机还给我,我一瞅,这货不小心点开了我的收件箱,上面赫然一条短信,是在逛街的媳妇发来:"要不要帮你买一打内裤?你的都被你捅烂了…"捅烂…捅…烂…

8.妈妈帮我带宝宝,每天都要在小区里溜娃,宝宝正处于换奶粉阶段~~~咯咯还会长~~~一起溜娃的邻居问我妈:宝宝现在吃什么奶粉,我妈一下想不起牌子名,琢磨半天说:好像叫什么牛栏山...邻居答:都喝上二锅头了?!

9.昨天姐在逛空间上,看见了一女同学发表了一句说说:眼泪留下来会怎样。姐忽然奇思妙想的评了句:胸大滴胸上,胸小滴脚上

10.记得和女朋友第一次开房,为了助兴买了两片药,两人都吃完了以为应该等一会才会发挥药效,两个人闭眼静静的躺着等药效发挥,之后等我们在睁开眼睛的时候已经是天亮了,可恶的药店老板卖我的是安眠药吗??????

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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