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1.本人做外贸, 平时跟各国客户也在网上闲聊什么的,这是背景————哥哥割割————昨天一英国客户问我,你看奥运会了么?我正犹豫要不要表达一下中国人民的愤慨之情,这货接着说,看女子网球了么?我说,看到丢旗了。客户灰常高兴地说,啊哈哈哈哈,现在全世界都知道英国政府有多蠢了……

2.今天七岁的表妹把舅妈的玉镯子摔碎了 然后他就跑卧室里把存钱罐打开数钱。。。 半小时后 她冲出来:妈妈把我卖了吧!!!!

3.和mm去约会,她在起点站,我在中途。

她说:你在那等着,等一下我快到了,就通知你上车,上来后,我们假装不认识,然后扮演在公车上邂逅又坠入爱河的新时代青年好不好?

我说:好啊好啊。
于是在站牌等啊等啊。

终于mm那班车来了!
坑爹的事情发生了!

我没挤上去= =!

4.昨天下午陪我姐夫一块带她闺女去我们区的一个公园玩,公园有几匹铜马雕塑,当天白天暴晒~~~割鸡割鸡割鸡~~~陪孩子玩的高兴,来了一对父子,儿子没多大,还穿着开裆裤,当爹的举起儿子直接按到了暴晒了一天的铜马背上,孩子瞬间大哭,这时当爹的拿出数码相机,对孩子说"宝贝儿别哭,乐一个"大叔,如果你裤裆熟了能乐出来吗

5.高中时,九十年代…没发过,不会隔…八班体育委员(壮男)和同班一胖子掰手腕,僵持n久,听得“卡巴”一声,胖子上臂骨折,全班惊恐…不是gc,隔天,该班一瘦弱男,玩单杠不慎,掉下将腿摔骨折,体委颠颠的跑去向班主任报告:“老师,xxx腿折了…”老师一脸黑线盯了他10秒,说:“又是你掰的?”掰的…掰的……

6.说个朋友的朋友的————有一天,在网上看到她一个朋友发表状态:“亲爱的宝宝,快出来吧,爸爸想你了。”(是个准爸爸)...遂留言评论:“你见过人家嘛,还想人家。”结果那位准爸爸华丽丽的回复:“我亲自把他送进去的,怎么不认识。” ... ... ...

7.中国游泳进步如此迅猛,难免引得老外有这样那样的质疑。其实面对质疑,只要拿暴雨后中国各城市积水的照片让他们瞧瞧,我就不信还打消不了他们那些错误的念头。我们甚至可以骄傲地告诉他们,你们等着,下届奥运会皮划艇的冠军也将会是我们的!【

8.据说中国队夺得冠军的时候,每次颁奖时播放中国的国歌,外国记者都不屑一顾地坐在坐位上,不站起来…网友神回复,他们不知道国歌的第一句是,起来,不愿做奴隶的人们…

9.话说本人有一萝莉小侄女,现上幼儿园中班,期中测试交了白卷,老师给考试好的小朋友发了奖状和书本,萝莉竟然在老师家门口哭了一个多小时,最后老师没办法只好也给她发了张奖状,结果还不走非让老师给发书本!现在去家里的客人看到墙上的奖状都夸她聪明,我们家人都不好意思说她那是哭来的!

10.给小女洗了个澡,我刚准备给她洗小短裤时,口袋里爬出十多个小蜗牛,支楞着触角四处爬。小妮子一见我要给她扔掉就急了,大叫那是我养的孩子,明天还要和小石头的结婚呢妈妈求求你别把它们扔掉

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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