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1.公休这天,洗完澡做公交车去市场买菜,对面坐着一位妈妈带着五六岁的女儿。过了几站,妈妈准备下车了,忽然小女孩面对我说,叔叔你说看到别人有困难时,又恰巧我们力所能及,是不是应该援手帮助一下呢?我一脸疑惑的望着她妈妈,她妈妈也是一脸的疑问。随后我就点点头,只见小女孩伸出右手,将我裤子的拉链拉上了……


2.最近老爸迷上了植物大战僵尸。前几天老爸给我打电话,语速特别慢,我就问他怎么啦。老爸还是用特别慢的语速说:我~被~冰~豌~豆~打~中~了。

3.儿子上幼儿园.中午接了刚到家.一老太太带着个小女孩找来了:“你是xx爸爸吧."我说是啊,有事吗大姨.老太太说:"你家xx打我家丫头.”我满脸黑线啊.点头哈腰装孙子.好不容易打发走一老一小,把小兔崽子找来:"你不是不打女孩子的吗.今天怎么回事.”小家伙还满委屈.:”我没打她.就是早晨鸡蛋我没吃.上午饿了.我们的桌子塑料的,我敲不开.“然后呢?:"然后我在她头上敲开的……

4.问:孙杨为啥游的那么快?
答:因为后面有个棒子。


5.在游泳池戏水,旁边一小萝莉。---------老婆不准割掉------突然想放屁,没憋住,身后冒起一大串泡泡,旁边小萝莉哇的一声哭了,边哭边喊,麻麻~麻麻~快跑~~水开了~~~开了~~了~~


6.哥哥不会割割,听说中国帮菲驴宾修排水系统?这招狠呐,X人于无形


7.本人已婚宅女,一般邻居都认识老公不认识我。----割了更健康----那天在电梯里碰上女邻居,此女看到我按八楼,遂有如下对话
“来串门的啊?”
“不是,我家住八楼。”
“八楼?几号啊?”
“二号。”
“不对啊,二号的女人不是你啊,我认识他们家。”
然后对我各种扫描审视。

哈哈,大姐你是在陷害我老公吗


8.楼主的本本是05年买的。用到现在就很不给力了。各种卡啊。于是楼主的脾气就变得很好了。但是一哥们一句话却让楼主从新爆F了。因为他用了一会楼主的电脑后说……你丫的电脑是用来戒网瘾用的吧……


9.那天看到一个警匪片(忘记名字了),演到最后要拆卸人质身上的Z彈,好多专家都不知道怎么处理,就在Z彈倒计时剩最后一分钟的时候,一个警员卸掉了Z彈上的5号电池…5号电池…电池……
ps尼玛,什么片子啊,广告吧。

10小时候我妈说我是从老爸肚子里生出来的。因为老爸肚子上有刀疤老妈没有。我到处告诉我的小朋友们,然后他们都回家找刀疤,第二天很多都哭着说他们是捡来的。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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