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初中课堂上，一同学正在睡觉，突然老师把她叫醒来，叫回答问题。那同学站起来，揉揉眼睛，不知老师问的是什么，张大嘴说了一句：“啊？”老师本来是生气的，一听说道：“对，就是选A。不过下次要说A，不能再象小学那样说‘啊’了。坐下吧。”老师转头又把所有同学骂道：“你看看你们，人家睡觉都比你们强。”
警察对一个杀人不眨眼的年轻人说：“在死之前你有什么话想说？”年轻人绝望地怒吼道：“我操他妈！是谁说杀人长命的！”
一男生为防止亲戚发问，提前学习了热门微博中的应对方法。过年时大姨问他有没女朋友，该男生作娇羞小媳妇状：“女朋友没有啦，不过有个男朋友，可黏我了”大姨败走，这天再没发问。此君得意万分，结果晚饭后大姨的儿子悄悄把他拉到房间里：“我注意到了，这一整天你男朋友都没联系你，别跟他了，你觉得我怎么样？”
“你看那谁谁谁，又高又帅脾气又好又能挣钱又疼老婆，会炒一手好菜还爱干净，再看看你”老公听完后一脸陶醉：“你问他喜欢男的不？”
老板带小秘出发半月，回来的晚上为了不让老婆怀疑什么，亲热时很卖力，弄出很大动静，突然楼下的邻居敲门怒喊：都半个月了，天天这样，还让不让人睡啊？
幼儿园老师教识字，在黑板上写了个“床”，问：“这位小朋友，你认识这个字吗？”小孩摇头说不知道。老师开始启发：“昨天晚上睡觉时，你爸爸身下是什么呀？”“是妈妈。”老师忙改口：“我是问，妈妈不在家时，爸爸身下是什么呀？”“是叔叔。”“小朋友们，这个字比较难，我们以后再学吧。”
学姐在哪里啊，学姐在哪里，学姐都在学长的怀抱里；学妹在哪里啊，学妹在那里，学妹都在学长的怀抱里；学弟在哪里啊，学弟在哪里啊，学弟都在学长的怀抱里；学长在哪里啊，学长在哪里，学长都在学长的怀抱里……嘀哩哩嘀哩嘀哩哩……
和同事的开车出去吃饭，到了吃的地方没有停车位，只好停在了路边。问之朋友会不会被贴罚单。他说没事，从箱里拿出来了一张罚单，自己贴在了车窗上。吃完饭回来果然平安无事。。。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
