Esim - 1.16没品笑话选
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昨天,终于甩掉了我那小气的老板——他在办公室里突然心脏病发作,就这么没了。
  啊呀呀,他要是允许我们在办公时间拨打私人电话的话,我可就能及时帮他叫辆救护车了呢。
——TheRizzler

☆ 我用笑料来作为一种防御机制……
  这一点和肯尼·达格利什略有相似。
——bumblesquash
//“利物浦的防守就是笑话”




☆ 昨晚有一匹马问我是不是打算开车回家……呃,仔细回想起来,那马上面可能还是有个警察的来着……
——TheMapleKind 发布于 天然呆 栏目




新闻上说,一名男子因在家私藏价值2000英镑的汽油而被捕.
  这处罚似乎也过于严厉,他也就藏了那么一桶油嘛……
——uberspeed
看来油价也不止我们的贵——小天


每当妻子下厨时,我都会慢慢地走到她身后,温柔地轻抚她的秀发、在她耳边亲昵地低语……
  “我们叫披萨吧。”
——jimboleem1

“走过路过不要错过啦!《呆瓜也能学数学》一本十块钱!三本只要三十五块便宜卖啦!”
——cecinestpasuneaccount


儿子跑进屋里:“爹地!你猜怎么着!今天我第一次捏到咪咪了哦?”
  “哦?所以你眼睛才肿起来么?”
  “嗯!”他回答,“孙小胖很不喜欢别人提到他肥来着!”
——Rocket11


要是我中了这彩票,我一定会让邻居们都变得超有钱的!
  我会立马搬到有钱人住的地方去。
——tdfboy



收到精神科医生发来的我不用再去接受治疗的信时我欣喜若狂。
  “谢天谢地!”我不禁说道。
  “不用谢。”信纸回答。
——LookeAnthony 发布于 脑子有病 栏目







妻子打完一个和她闺蜜的电话,气呼呼地瞪着我:“安杰拉的电话——她说,在某个成人交友打炮网站上,看到你注册了?!”
  “这可怪了,”我答道,“那站我没用真名注册呀……那她一定是认出了我的JB吧。”
——eviltorry
//信息量偏大




女人们,一个个都说我丑,可她们在听到我每月赚多少钱之后呢?
  就说我又穷又丑了……
——Davelbastia


新女友和我聊天时说:“高潮之后呢,我最喜欢亲一下然后抱着对方、就这么甜蜜蜜地相拥而眠。——你呢?”
  我答道:“我么,一般是清空历史记录,然后把纸巾给丢了。”
——oopsdontlaf
这个有人中枪么?——小天


我和女友因为宗教观念上的差异而分手了。
  ——她竟然不肯崇拜我。
——kingeicholz


上了公交车,坐在一男的旁边,他就一副见了什么怪物的眼神盯着我看。
  “真特么是没好事!”我心道,“整辆车都空着,而我就特么偏偏能坐在个疯子旁边!”
——stallion sd
====================================
我的泰国妻子最近吃了很多菠萝。
  其实我也是推测啦——因为这几天她精液的味道很好呢。
——magicaltrevor
这个只是关于菠萝功能的小科普啦,一点儿都不重口的=。=——小天


我摆脱处男之身的那一次,和我接受肺部移植颇有相似之处——
  都得有人先死了,才成全了我。
——Snikoggs


我摆脱处男之身的那一次,和我接受肺部移植颇有相似之处——
  都得有人先死了,才成全了我。
——Snikoggs


老婆今天把下面的毛剃了。
  嗯,终于又能看见她的膝盖了,不错。
——stash



妈妈刚冲我大发脾气、骂我不知廉耻恶心至极甚至威胁要把我赶出家门,因为她刚在我妹妹劳拉的被子上发现了我的精斑。
  我还是不明白她冲我生气干嘛——明明是劳拉自己吐在被子上的啊。
——Cecilthewonderdog


在芸芸众生中,除了人类,就只有海豚是不单出于本能、而能真心享受○○××过程的。
  我可是艹了多少动物才有了这一结论啊!
——Frankie Boyle

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1.15 (11 years ago)

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1.17没品笑话选 (11 years ago)

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USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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