Esim - 双十二第一弹
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1.说一同事的,他住宿舍,哥哥你真帅~~~~
一日带女朋友去宿舍,看看宿舍没人,和女朋友各种缠绵,各种声音,当然也ML了、这不是GC,GC是他们完事了在床上休息,角落里那床上传来了一句、哎呀我的妈呀,你们终于完事了,害的我连呼吸都不敢大声。剩下他俩在那凌乱....
2.昨天接儿子放学(幼儿园),很多家长都在接孩子,快到门口了,我对儿子说:“怎么不和小朋友们说再见?”…儿子回头:“小朋友们再见”…gc来了…门口的小女孩们齐声:“老公再见”…瞬间石化…伴随着接孩子们家长怨毒的眼神逃离现场…现在的孩子啊…
3.我爸打电话来问:你还好吧? 我说:好啊怎么了? 他说:我收到一条短信说儿子被绑架了,要在3天内凑够20万打过去不然就撕票。我安抚父亲道:爸,这些骗子短信太多了,你以后理都别理,什么时候收到的嘛?我爸:上个月
4.
昨天晚上,我和纯纯的女友都喝醉了,然后第一次爱爱。爱爱完我抱着她,她笑:天哪,你JJ好短.... 我心里想:"尼玛,你怎么知道我短,你见过别人的?" 我刚要开口问,她脱口而出:我见过的五个都比你长~ 今天果断分了。
5.想起去年母亲节,迷糊被老妈叫醒。看着她拉窗帘时被阳光衬托的神圣形象,迷迷糊糊地说“妈,母亲节我也没啥表示的,我给你磕个头吧……”
6.家有一岁九个月正太一枚。某天看了某台的动画片后,特有兴趣用脑袋拱地,他爹为了保护他席地而坐在他前面,结果正太一下拱到他爹两腿中间,就听他爹惨叫一声~:孩子啊,你回不去了,真的回不去了…我这当妈的,冷汗啊…回不去了……
7.晚上买菜,被老公训,买的太多了,做啥都没有度,我堵着耳朵,不听不听~~
老公:“你还过不过?”
我:“不过了”
老公:“不过就散伙,分行李”
我:“回你的高老庄去吧”
8.世界上最悲催的事情就是让我这个色盲去打斯诺克,我擦!!!
9.句话不割~~~宝宝刚刚学会走路'没走好'一屁股坐仙人球上了
10.半夜被下铺的哥们摇醒!(床震)
迷茫中,闻到一股心相印纸巾浓烈的香味!

1.谁发明了婴儿这种外星生物,完全无法沟通,裸机一部,没配任何文档。待机极短,2小时一充,并且无法退货。——可是,你们很喜欢开发过程。。
2.本人女,年芳28,职业教师,一直单身~~~~我姓苍~~~~
3.
一句不割…做不来的数学大题总是会用各种书法在那里潇洒的写上一个“解”字的童鞋请举手!
4.刚发生的,老爸拿起桌上的一包烟正想抽,老妈说,那是XX的(老公名),老爸回了句,女儿都给他了,抽他包烟怎么了
5.记得有次和老婆kf,那时还在上大一,完事儿后老婆就一直玩着蛋(你们懂的)我没理她,很累啊!而且她的小手玩起来很舒服有木有!、突然觉得一阵巨痛,尼玛真是想死的心都有了!我吼着问老婆干嘛呢,她闪着无辜的大眼睛说想试试能不能把两个蛋蛋换个位置...换个位置...换个位置...换个...
我欲哭无泪...囧rz,老婆我服你了!

6.5岁儿子吃饭。他不想吃。(大家都知现在小孩都不爱吃饭)在我的强迫下,没办法。他边哭边吃嘴里还说好,你们叫我吃饭我就吃等我吃饱长大了。我跟你们没完
7.新来个女同事,姓温名窦思,坐我正对面,求如何相处,今儿上半天班已经笑出来三次了
8.爱过不过----割个卵----前两天看到有个男的说自己手握40亿军队的!我艹,没姐的兵营,你那40亿球都不是!

9.本人男、小胖………割了割了………脸上长痘了听同班女生说用细盐洗脸可消痘印遂试之、老妈看见了问、儿子你干嘛啊?你在腌猪头肉啊…腌猪头肉…猪头肉…T.T
10.cnt 求过……我是艺术生,学的美术。。高三的时候在画室集训,画室请了几科主课的老师开小班补文化课……………要不嗝一下?……………话说英语老师引导我们翻译某个句子,说到boxing(拳击) 。。。“boxing是一种世界风靡的游戏,你们猜猜看”。。。“推箱子!!!”

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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