Esim - 12.11第二弹
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1.女儿小时候我教她说话...
我:酱油
女儿:酱油
我:打酱油
女儿过来啪啪俩下
2.我一挚友高中时住校,经历人生第一次跑马,清晨醒来顿觉裆间粘糊糊 不禁大怒!歇斯底里大骂: 你妈了个臭*!!谁往我裤头里擤鼻涕了!!满屋笑翻!一室友告知:兄弟 你成人了!
3.发一男同事的挤公交的事…………………分割…………………夏季的某一天下班,我那同事照常坐公交车回家,下班高峰期车上人多很正常,车上有猥琐男也时常发生。就在这时有位30好几的女人对我同事大吼道:你这流氓吃我豆腐。车里乘客都回头看热闹。只听我同事蛋定到:我从来不吃臭豆腐
4.刚看到13名小偷在武汉开年会被警方一窝端的新闻,后面网友神回复:“怎么不租条船……”
5.
来一次大姨妈,要用去三卷卫生纸=9元,两包日用=15元,一包夜用=9元,半包护垫=2.5元,不身体枣一包=5元,红糖一包=5元,热奶茶两杯=6元,小一百块就又没有了……每个月一次伤不起啊……物价在这么涨,大姨妈都来不起了
6.我们消防队的给养员,出去买菜被城管把车给扣了………
7.今天和同学去网吧玩,玩半小时不到,来了一位只有右臂的残疾人,从容地坐好,淡定的打开“CS中文1.5”,把椅子向后靠,抬起左脚,把脚放在键盘上。开战发现此人奇猛,还你妈能甩狙。我一个同学就死在他的B46下。同学和我说:“千万别跟哥几个说,玩了这么多年CS,让人用脚甩死了,太TM丢人了。”
8.一年暑假,我和表弟在上海南京路逛街,天色已晚,准备回去,找不到地铁口了。…………我是他哥哥…………我们决定问人,我看见不远处公交站台旁有位美女,遂屁颠屁颠往那跑,表弟在后面喊:哥,不用问人了!就在马路对面,你看马路对面的牌子上写着地铁入口!我回头训斥:什么马路对面!一定要问!遂快步走到美女面前,很绅士地问:小姐,请问,马路对面怎么走……
9.有一朋友女巨牛,喜欢419,经常会和网友之类的见面kf,此乃背景。咯咯咯////有一次,她又和一男的见面,还是外地男子,回来之后姐妹在有意思聚会,大家都询问感觉如何,谁料这姐们特郁闷地说:"别提了,就他妈是个五毛钱的火腿肠,还是半截的。"
10.一句话~~茅台名誉董事长说:茅台含微量元素达1000多种
没学过化学的都懂的,元素周期表才一百多~

1.女朋友有洁癖,什么东西只要掉在马路上就嫌脏不要了,今天和她在一起的时候我绊倒了……
2.
刚在空间看到的,太真相了,同意的顶起………………其实男生不是真的喜欢你不减肥,而是喜欢你爱吃还不肥;也不是真的喜欢你不化妆,而是喜欢你素颜也好看;也不是真的喜欢你瘦,而是喜欢你瘦却有胸;也不是真喜欢你独立,而是他忙的时候别烦他。女孩子,太认真你就输了。
真相了。
3.上大学的时候,食堂有意见薄,一天闲来无事翻看,其中一页只写了一句话:你以为你把鸡屁股切成三瓣我就认不出来了吗!!!
4.手机丢了,急忙用朋友的手机打过去,很客气地问:“你好,您是不是刚捡到个手机?” 接电话的直接回答:“什么捡的,我刚偷的!”
5.看到谈了三年分手的前男友的Q签名:无论未来多么崎岖,我都要和他在一起!他,他!他
6.没有前戏不用割,刚才坐长途大客,路上有两个大卡车相撞,场面惨烈,我旁边有个四五岁的小朋友问,爸爸大卡车怎么了,可能是场面太暴力,小孩旁边的男人淡定的说,哦,俩变形金刚坐下来抽根烟。。。
7.妈妈给洗裤子,发发现了裤子里的避孕套,,,,,,割,,,,,我说,红十字预防艾滋病活动发的!! 至于你信不信,我反正信了。
8.本人男,自从嫂子学了美甲之后,我就充当她的试验品,大家想象得到一个二十岁的男孩子天天10个手指甲都是花花绿绿的是什么样子吗?
9.直接发。。。。。。。。我有一女老师有点骚。刚刚老师布置好多作业。我同学说这老师真是欠操。我说你敢不敢声音大一点。同学一副认真表情。要是她真过来让我操怎么办。我还是处男。。。。。。。
10.听法院宣判经常剥脱政治权利多少年,我经常想我一个有政治权利的人和这些人的区别都在哪呢?。。。

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12.11第一弹 (12 years ago)

Next article:
双十二第一弹 (12 years ago)

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In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

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