Article
2.
记者：对于这次油价上涨，请问您有什么看法?
我：可以说脏话吗?
记者：........不可以，说点其他的.....
我：没有其他的!
3.我说油价太高，你说瑞典更高。我说瑞典公路都不收费，你说曰本收费。我说日本工资高啊，你说俄国也不高。我说俄国全民医保，你说印度没医保。我说印度没强拆，你说伊拉克还挨炸。我说伊拉克有自由，你说朝鲜更惨。我说朝鲜有廉租房，你说阿富汗还住山洞。我说政府啊，你也六十好几了，咋就不能学点好？
4.求过。
新闻报道：女生考公务员要求填写月经周期。
弱弱的问一句，这是方便领导们做事吗？
5.偶然发现之••••割••••上幼儿园的儿子尿完尿不再抖动小jj，而是扯一块纸擦，娘的还叠了叠，问之，答曰跟幼儿园阿姨学的，儿，你课间都到哪去玩呀？爹我有点伤不起呀！
6.简短不割。。。总有这样一种人还没进去就射了还腆着脸问你舒不舒服
7.看电视出现广告并不可恶，真正可恶的是，广告完了等来的却是片尾曲
8.朋友家大宝正太，4岁了，今年又生了个二宝，小萝莉，才一个多月，一天，大宝跟妈妈说，“妹妹什么时候走啊，她赖在我们家这么多天了！！”，====
9.今天在天朝办证件，然后听到一声“请为我们的服务做出评价！”我正寻那评价器，只见办理人员熟练的一按，然后机器上紧接着传出了句“谢谢！”自始至终我都没见到那评价器。……
10.小学应用题，有多余条件的那种。老师教一个女女她一直不懂，数学老师就大怒，吼到，“你家三个人两头猪，你家共有几头猪。”那女纸弱弱地说五头！！全班沸腾啊，老师那地中海的发型都凌乱了~
1.我去理发，理发师摸了摸我的头然后说“这jb头长的太怪了，我弄不了啊，找别人理吧。”
这是24年人生中遭受的最大鄙视啊。。。
2.从小学到高中，学生都是不准化妆的。 终于到了大学，一女产生了化妆的念头。 她最喜欢的就是眼影，而且颇为大胆，啥色都敢往脸上抹。她妈妈一直没吭声。 终于有一天，该女抹了极其夸张的眼影，准备出门上课。她妈妈看到后，迟疑了一会儿，问她：“悟空，你要走了？”
3.句话，刚才看到新闻上，澳大利亚5千万大闸蟹横行迁徙，我想说，这要是在中国，早团灭了···
4.高中的时候，班里面的同学都喜欢用别名，我的同桌叫牛棚，连老师上课也叫他牛棚。有一天，我看到我的课桌上看到梁国英的化学书。我怎么也弄不懂这书是怎么落在我桌面的，也不知道这梁国英是个什么鸟。于是我问牛棚，梁国英是谁，怎么他的书落在我桌上了。面对满面问号的我，牛棚冒出三条黑线说，是我。你的同桌
5.和女友准备结婚，很少吵架的我们最近争执不断，发帖为自己加RP，求祝福！。。。。。割一下。。。。。。 那天又为一小事争吵，气不过，冲其吼：“下辈子我做女的你当男的，天天没事找事我气死你！”女友还嘴：“换就换，下辈子我做男的你做女的，见面就上床我干死你！”好吧，我输了。。。
6.妹妹从我兜里掏出了我的银行卡，问我这是干什么的，由于我在玩游戏，就含糊的告诉她：这里面有几千块钱呢！别乱动！然后就继续玩。。。。。。。割不割很重要吗？。。。。五分钟后妹妹又过来问我：哥！这卡里面啥也没有啊？ 我低头一看，只见她手里拿着被掰成三份的银行卡。。。。
7.背景：前男友是文艺青年一枚==========分手后有一次经过他家楼下，于是打电话叫他下来喝东西。谁知他拒绝，理由是他说，你不觉得我们的重逢应当是偶然地在街上或在餐厅，然后相视无语才对吗？我是该杀了他还是杀了他！
8.话说我有一个女同学嗓子亮，社交特单纯，连手机和扣扣都没有，唱山歌是真心好听，前些日子，由于上学着急在一楼一脚踩空了，骨折了。。。她家住六楼。。。。。。她坐在楼梯上硬是把她妈喊楼下来了！！六楼啊，我地妈……
9.发个朋友姐姐遇到的。某晚，某医院的急诊室。。。。。。。。。。。。来了一对高中模样的情侣挂号，挂妇科，还要找大夫，护士在想，半夜？急诊？妇科 ？高中生？便问怎么了。女孩不答，男孩吱吱呜呜半天说了句。TT落里面了。落里面了。
10.刚毕业还没找到工作，整天宅在家里除了吃饭睡觉就是上网！每天晚上半夜睡觉早上起不来———戈———
今早迷迷糊糊的听见我爸喊起床，刚想应声，听见我妈旁边幽幽的来句：让他睡吧，躺床上还能省点电！
Previous article:
12.10第三弹 (12 years ago)
Next article:
12.11第二弹 (12 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
