Esim - 11.24第三弹
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背景:去姥姥家拿点东西,正值办年货,因为绕道,就先去超市买的糖果,然后才去姥姥家。姥姥家,我3岁的小侄女也在,遂拿着糖哄她,让她叫我姑姑,她叫一下(肚肚),我给她一个,出去转了一圈回来,问她还要糖糖不,她说要,我就说叫(肚肚)呀,她叫好几声,我想不起糖放哪里了,没办法,就把她口袋里的拿出来再放进去,说,看啊,给你糖了啊。她扑闪着眼睛,歪着脑袋快哭了。

有点囧:昨夜睡朋友家,发现朋友床下有个微波炉,
睡觉前就问他是做什么用的,他居然说当闹钟用。
这还不是GC,今天早上起床的时候,
突然微波炉就响了,还带语音播报的,
“七点整,现在开始烤乳猪……”
我当时“噌”的一声就从床上跳下来了…

说个我女朋友的 在联通上班 客户经理、-、-、-不割不行么----
有天联系客户 突然网络断了 还没给客户重新拨号的 客户给回电话了 上来就一句“不好意思啊 信号不好 断线了-------”确实 你打的就是联通的客户服务电话啊

我一同学上小学的时候体育课拿了一个袋装的酸奶,没来得及喝就上课了,他当时也不知怎么想的,就顺手放进自己戴的帽子里了,他上课还不怎么老实,体育老师一怒就朝他脑袋拍了一巴掌,顿时酸奶顺脑袋横流,那场面...老师当时吓得手都哆嗦,

要过年了,会碰到很多奇遇。当你走在路边,看到一坨在冒烟的大大时,不要好奇,更不要去看,因为那一团炸飞的屎星会让脆弱的神经寸寸断裂!!杀千刀的!哪家天杀的孩子!别让我找到你,否则,一百遍!一百遍!

彪悍东北老娘们儿… 那是某个平常的日子,公交车上人挤人啊,移动都很困难,突然车上不知谁踩了一位大姐的脚,大姐一嗓子,这挤的不能再挤的公交车上仍哗的一下闪开一条道,因为大姐喊的是: 妈 B的,谁踩我 B上了…

简短不割,今天去google注册一个账户,看到性别选项时我被雷暴了,它竟然有三个选项:男,女,其它。

前段时间路过一个男生宿舍,看到个美女进去了,当时还和同学谈论那个美女为什么进男寝。正在谈论的时候,又看到那个美女急急忙忙的出来了,手里还抱着一个…小孩…?当时就石化了,旁边一同学还来傻傻的来了句“不能那么快吧……?”

过年剪头发,——是这个哥吗——下午着急找到家理发店,直接坐理发椅子上,GC来了,好几个妖艳MM给我相当肯定的回答~俺们不会剪啊…

刚才去我妈空间 -----------------割-------------- 她设了访问问题:我的女儿是谁 我果断输了自己名字上去 结果:对不起 回答错误
妈呀 那你女儿是谁啊

妈妈今天跟我说的他们小时候发生的真实搞笑事 …………要哥吗…………他们小时候七十年代的时候,大家都穷。有户人家的老爷子过世了,下葬那天大家抬着棺材放着鞭炮往山上走,一个小娃跟在大伙后面捡没点着的那种单个鞭炮,穷嘛,没什么玩的东西。结果被过世老爷子的小孙子看到了,严厉喝止他不许再捡鞭炮,小娃生气的了,大喊:行,你不让我捡鞭子,下次我爷爷死的时候也不准你捡鞭子!

一句话,不割,初一教我地理的是教我姐语文的,初二教我地理的是初三教我政治的。。。

高中。1、7班新换一班主任,此男做事及其认真而且奇葩,刚到班,学生还没认全。
2、我们学校每天早上教学楼门前有人截住迟到的学生,记下名字和班级,迟到者处罚严重。
3、一哥们在6班,6班和7班隔壁。
————割呀么嘿嘿,这能过吧————
一日这哥们迟到,在门前被截住了,无奈只好留下班级和名字:7班、雅典娜
课间时间,哥们坐在6班教室,听到7班班主任在隔壁怒喊: 雅典娜是谁?给我出来!!雅典娜是谁???居然敢迟到
哥们在教室里憋到内伤啊哈哈,没认全学生的班主任桑不起啊!!!如有雷同,你是我同学

大夷马!来自荒夷之地!性情暴躁!乃草泥马之克星!两马不能共存!一但相遇,非死即伤!血留成河,实惨不忍睹,大夷马在此 平常是黑色的 一个月总有那么几天会变成红色。因此叫大夷马!

本人女···和老哥吵架,一激动顺口爆了句"Cao你妈",猛然醒悟,又急忙改口"Cao你妹".然后就木有然后了…………

同事国外工作一年,春节休假,购的联程机票,准备回宜昌探亲。前天中午坐飞机到广州,原计划转乘当天下午的飞机去宜昌。因为宜昌天气不好,航班取消。火车票也没买到。现在被困广州机场。已经两天了。
-----------以上是背景-----------
今天早上,同事又到机场客服前,问哪天可以飞宜昌。得知广州飞宜昌的航班未确定何。
同事抱怨:“被困2天了。咋办啊?”
机场客服:“您转机不成,是天气原因,我们管吃管住了嘛。”
同事委曲:“可我下飞机前吃了药了啊!”
机场客服:“不就是2颗药丸嘛。我们赔您就是了。”
同事愤怒:“赔药丸就能解决我目前的问题吗?!”
机场客服沉默了半响。突然一指停机坪,说:“都是飞机惹的祸,我现在就把安全门打开,您可以去打它!”

一天我同学(女)跟妹妹在店里坐着吃东西。 妹妹忽然抬头,满脸疑惑的问她:姐,ML是什么意思啊? 我同学很震惊的看着她,妹妹才11岁啊,11岁。。。 【ML啥意思】我同学想了想,决定还是告诉她,很难为情的说:就是make love 啊。她妹妹指着饮料盒接着问:那250ML是什么意思啊?同学直接受内伤了。。

最近山东卫视播:我的娜塔莎
我爸妈很迷
~糗事百科,割割更健康~
就在刚才,不是播到庞天德和娜塔莎争吵。娜塔莎哭着去写检查
我爸冒了一句:怎么是这样德结果?那导演肯定不是党员!

我有一个朋友,他就是个纯213啊,就刚刚坐公交,一个男的上来的时候衣服被挂住了,说了一声见鬼,然后我朋友转头跟我说,他看见我们了。。。。。。。我明显看见旁边的阿姨脸色都不对了……

一兄弟来我家,在我房间。男生在一起偶尔也打来打去,一打就倒床上了,然后,我压着他,说:“小样,还敢不敢?”然后他闭着眼睛意乱情迷的摇头:“雅蠛蝶,哈纳西跌~~”然后……我爸进来了,面无表情的看着我们俩,五秒之后,把门关上,说:“小声点,别让你妈听见,她心脏不好…”我俩当时就傻了。

春运了,买票的地方排队的人那叫一个多。
我朋友已经排了一天的队了,我刚好路过那里,就准备去看看他。
到了地方,看着长长的队伍,找个人还真不容易。于是我就便哼着汪峰的歌,变找他。唱到“北京,北京”那句,情不自禁的声音有点大。于是边上一个人听到了,马上冲过来,冲我大声是问“有到蚌埠的吗?”我当时就懵了,赶紧说“没有,没有。”现在想起来,我要是赶紧解释我不是票贩子不就没事了。
结果,呼啦一下就围过来几个人,“有没有鹰潭的?”“有没有银川的?”......看他们那个样子,一个个恨不得生吃了我似的,弄的我是又晕又怕的,只知道一个劲的说“没有,没有。”
不大一会功夫,来了两个警察,驱散人群,把我拉到一边就是一顿盘问。具体过程就不说了,反正怪丢脸的,最后还是找到我朋友才解释清楚。
要说还真是蛮糗的,但是也怪不得别人,谁叫自己没见过大场面呢。不过仔细想想,貌似糗的不只是我一个人吧。

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11.24第二弹 (12 years ago)

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我发现11.25还没有发,大家没有等急吧?算了,不要在意这些细节 (12 years ago)

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USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


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The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


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