Esim - 啊,恩,因为过了12点了,所以算是11.24吧,不要在意细节
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看来的,转载:多年前,在一个朋友家里修电脑,朋友儿子,最多四岁,在床上地上乱蹦,吵的不得安宁,他爹大怒,训斥道,你这个小jb,跳什么跳。他儿回嘴曰:你才小jb,有胆掏出来比比~~。哥压抑了很久内心的狂笑,出门后笑到岔气。

上周末给国内的爷爷奶奶打电话。
------分割线------
奶奶:我和你爷爷重阳也去登高了。
我:那好呀,适当锻炼一下。
奶奶:那天有点冷,我们就在楼里上到16层。
我:不是吧你们一个85岁一个90岁能爬那么多楼梯吗???
奶奶:爬不动,所以我们坐电梯上去的。
------真可爱------
祝所有的老人家晚年都这样幸福可爱啊~

有什么难懂的,中央拨款1000万建网站,部长给副部长500万建网站,副部长给秘书100万建网站,秘书给外包公司50万建网站,外包公司转包一技术公司10万建网站,技术公司给校领导5万建网站,校领导给计算机老师5000建网站,老师给学生布置作业建网站,于是神奇的铁道部购票网站诞生了。.

舍友女友怀孕,问我们支支吾吾借钱,一天后还钱,曰,老子每次都带套的……

妇科检查医生开了YD用药。
晚上老公值班,自己上药。但是药盒里送的指套是塑料袋的,很硬。想了一下,哼,这个问题难不倒我,用TT套在手指上推进去了。上药之后直接睡了,呃,裸睡的。
老公早上回来,看到我扔在床边垃圾桶里的TT,掀开被子一看,我一个人光溜溜地睡在里面……药化了流出来了,白色的……
我想说我真的只是上药了。

考研第一天,考场的监考老师检查各种证件,检查到一个男生说身份证不在了,老师问哪去了,哥们回答说拿去买火车票了。。。。

小时候都爱玩爆人菊花的游戏(偷偷跑到人身后,两指一并,你懂得...)出手的时候还不忘学卡卡西来一句 千年杀!!(听朋友讲的,第一人称代替)此为背景---------我也学别人割一个-------那天我和A走在马路上,看到前面有个人背影很像我们的哥们B,A坏坏的说:是B,看我暴他菊花!我感觉不太对,但也没拦他,只见他一溜小跑来到那人身后,大喊一声 千年杀!然后直直地戳了上去,不知道是听到脚步声还是听到喊声,那淫居然就在千钧一发的时候转过来了,然后命中前面,没错是前面,惯例,这不是g潮,g潮是那淫居然是个女的,是个女的 女的......
然后悲催的孩子就肿了,背影像男人的女人是真的伤不起的....

今天考政治,分析苹果公司成功的原因,一同学写,苹果都把广告做到期末考卷上来了,能不成功么...
这个...这个很有道理啊!!!

今晚回家路过一小食杂店,打算去买盒方便面。把车停到门口,冲着食杂店门走去。然后听到身后一大婶喊:姐们儿,卖不了了。。。我刚想抱怨怎么这么早就关门,只见大婶一脸无辜的说,卖不了了,钥匙反锁在屋里了,我在外头都冻半天了。。。。

终于见到有人拿着戒指单膝跪地在马路上向女生求婚 在女生即将同意的时候 人群中有人说了句“真土” 然后女的听到了气得转身走了 留下单膝跪地的男人凌乱了

说点大学里的故事。顺便给大家普及一下知识。
本学院有一牛X前辈,是一学姐。这学姐可能比一般你见过的学姐更牛X一些,大一第一学期八门课程,人家挂了七门,人送外号“七星连珠”。我们是听着这位学姐的故事步入大二的。当然这不是重点。
我们有一门课,叫《工程流体力学》。《工程流体力学》里是这样定义孔口出流和管嘴出流的:在盛有液体的容器底部或侧壁开一孔口,液体从一孔口流出,得到孔口出流;在孔口处装一长度为3~4倍孔口直径的短管,液体通过短管,并在出口断面满管流出的现象称为管嘴出流。
一日,上这课,老师点名起来回答问题,正好点到正在玩手机的这位学姐。学姐起来当然是一脸茫然的。好在在其他热心人的帮助下,在课本找到了,于是学姐读完了,这不需费什么脑细胞。
但是——老师又问了,请各举一例。这才到了这位学姐发挥的时候。学姐hll的回道:小便!众人先是惊诧,继而疑惑,最后偷笑。老师无奈,又问管嘴出流呢?该姐又答:男生小便!
老师大囧,同学爆笑,从此,再也没有老师敢提问这位学姐了。

我和男友是异地恋,不过在一个城市,离得不算太远,他经常来看我-------------这是背景--------------------------今天下午他过来看我,在一块吃吃饭说说话什么的,我随手拿起他的手机翻短信,翻到已发短信时,看到昨天他给他室友发的一条短信,第一句是我们又不是第一次睡在一张床上了,后面没看完就被他夺走删掉了。当时旁边还有别人,我当着这么多人的面朝他质问:说!你是不是背着我找男朋友了!!

最近苹果iphone4s新发布,带了siri语音功能,今天晚上宿舍卧谈,我们就说到了这个=====过了就是CNT=====老大拿出他的nokia说,我的也有语音功能,然后开始对着机器吼名字,吼了好几个,都木有反应,老大大怒,对着手机大喊CNM,手机Hll的显示出他爹的名号并自动拨号,兄弟们都不淡定了!!!坑爹啊!!!

内涵~一帅哥领着孩子在公园玩,众人围观。一位老奶奶逗着孩子问“爸爸和妈妈更喜欢谁?”,正太毫不犹豫,“喜欢爸爸!”大家哄笑着恭喜男人,男人却一挑眉“再说一遍!更喜欢谁?”正太苦着脸扁嘴“喜欢妈妈…”男人满意地笑了,大家都赞叹男人尊重妻子,只有正太内牛“爸爸快来啊!妈妈又在欺负我了”。。 求期末考试好成绩!

在检票口等待检票,广播响了:各位旅客,为了安全,请不要在站台奔跑……
同学冷不丁的来一句:又不是依萍,谁会在站台奔跑…… - -||

本人女. 在上医专学护理 背景交代完毕----------------- 今天在实验课上我突然心血来潮偷偷的给一个人体模型做人工呼吸和胸部按压 结果被老师发现 老师说∶你要是把模型按坏了你就自己躺那当模型..

一次和好友聊天聊到脸型,向上45度角的时候,我也是个尖下巴啊,于是我大刺刺一拍胸脯说到说,我这也是瓜子脸啊,脸型看骨头的,不是看肉的
然后她,她,她轻蔑的看了我一眼,无耻的点了点头,说:恩,对,你是瓜子脸,你是那一整颗向日葵
尼玛~~~

自从杨幂公开恋情,网友们纷纷对前段时间其胸部忽然变大并非隆胸表示理解与信任!

刚手贱,看了新西游记收八戒的一集,看完豁然发现,原来猪八戒没被收服和被收服的区别就是 ,原来是野猪,被收服了是家猪!!!

今天是我跟老公终于领证了,么么哒
————哥哥没了我肿么办————
领完证各种美,翻开第二页惊现“MZHBJZH”几个字母,一时手贱百度了一下。。。

"实名制购票已经实施,票贩子怎么弄到那么多热线车票?警方展开了调查。
  沈阳站售票大厅里,购票者排起长龙,轮到一个身穿黄大衣的小伙购票时,只见他从包里掏出一摞足有十多张身份证和一沓百元大钞对售票员说:“到西安的5张,到广州的4张,到温州的5张……”
  根据对“黄大衣”的调查,警方在一处公寓内发现一个所谓“代售点”。民警调查发现,这个窝点于2011年12月1日开始以办理订票,接受预订,采取先付款后取票等方法招揽旅客,然后通过网上、电话订票获取车票,再以每张车票加收3至6元倒卖给旅客。"
每张车票加收3至6元倒卖给旅客
3至6元!!!!!
这是雷锋啊!

刚刚一口气喝光一罐菠萝啤,然后赶脚晕头转向,觉得醉酒其实蛮舒服。突然眼角余光一闪,隐约看到罐子上几个小字:本饮品不含酒精。我擦!

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11.23 (12 years ago)

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11.24第二弹 (12 years ago)

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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