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楼下回复:“就叫夏课，看哪个老师上课的时候敢喊他！”
乌鸦妈妈生病了，小乌鸦爬在床边心疼的说:“妈妈，你一定要好起来，千万不要离开我！”
乌鸦妈妈感动的说:“乖孩子，你如果不是乌雅嘴该多好呀!”
乌鸦妈妈猝死于当天凌晨......
有个人一天遇到一个神仙，神仙说可以满足他两个条件，
他说:“我要成为百万富翁，然后我要换个国籍。”
结果第二天起来他花了几万越南盾吃了顿早餐……
去医院体检，医生拿着我的报告单，说:“幸好你来得早啊…”
在我惊出一身冷汗的时候，医生不慌不忙的说道:“再晚点，我就下班了。
毕业生去应聘，招聘人员问:“你在学校都考过什么证吗？
比如英语四级，计算机二级什么的。”
学生:“考过啊，我有很多证。”
招聘人员很感兴趣，就问:“都有那些证？”
学生:“都是准考证。”
昨晚在大街吃馄饨，收钱的是一漂亮妹子。
我给她20，她找给我15，哥盯着妹子看的入神了，一直看。
妹子又给我30，我还看，妹子又给我50，我还看。
妹子突然说：“大哥你到底给我多少钱啊？”
一男同学下课无聊之际，见前排女生桌上有“彩虹糖”。
拿起两颗扔嘴里越嚼味越不对，刚好那女生回来了，
“你这是什么糖？味道怎么有点苦？”
那女生淡定的回了三个字“痛经宝”。
寒风中，有次去银行存钱，取号后大厅值班经理上来问存多少，我告诉她一万，
她理直气壮的说:“先生我们有规定整存整取要在外面ATM机办理。”
我一看外面排队八个人，里面就两个了，关键是外面冷呀！
于是我又拿出一块钱凑足一万零一块，说：“我现在可以在柜台办理了吗!”
之后那妹子脸立马绿了，沉默了半天后说了句:“大哥你真狠。
刚入伍时，班长给我们讲，他新兵那会儿出去带学生军训，
有个女学生跑来跟他请假：“教官，我请假，我大姨妈来了！”
班长说：“来就来呗，坐2路公交就到这了，咋的，你还去接她啊！”
心中暗恋已久的女神喝的大醉趴在旁边， 我此时此刻内心非常纠结，
感觉大脑里有出现了两个小人，一个叫冲动，一个叫理智，
冲动说到：“能吃她豆腐吗？”，而理智却说：“好呀好呀 ！”
我最终被理智打败了，左右环顾了下，发现没人注意这边，
我就以迅雷不及掩耳之势，拿起女友前面的那盘豆腐放在了自己前面，动作之快令人发指，
现在我正津津有味地吃着她的豆腐……
晚餐之后，女孩说：“咱们去一个男人都想去的地方。”
男孩不解问：“什么地方？”
女孩说：“饿的时候你想干什么？”
男孩：“吃饭呗。”
女孩：“累了呢？”
男孩：“睡觉。”
女孩：“睡前干什么？”
男孩：“想不出来了？”
女孩：“你猜，腰以下，腿之上部位的行为。”
男孩大悟：“原来你说的是，上卫生间啊！”
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
