Esim - vicoteka 4 deo :)
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Kopaju Mujo i Haso rupu,
kad kaže Haso: Mujo meni se
nešto prijebalo.
Mujo će : Pa hajde pođi bolan
do Fate pa je pojebi.
- I ti se nećeš ljutiti ? -
upita Haso
-Neću bolan Haso šta bi se ljutio" - odvrati
Mujo.
Vraća se Haso nakon par
sati pa kaže: Dobra je Fata, ali sva je
nikakva, ne miče se, hladna
je, ne vrišti, uopšte me nije
doživjela...
A Mujo će: Pa bravo Haso, za koji kurac
misliš da kopamo ovaj grob ?



Tip ulazi u indijski restoran,
sjedne i pita konobaricu:
• Šta vam je specijalitet za
danas?
Ova kaže:
• Čili, ali je ovaj gospodin do vas naručio zadnju porciju.
• Uf, a baš mi se jeo... Dobro,
onda ću porciju karija.
U međuvremenu, dok je čekao
jelo, primijeti da čovjek do njega
ima više jela ispred sebe i da uopšte ne jede taj čili već neku
čorbu.
• Izvinite, je l' jedete vi ovaj
čili?
• A, ne, ne - odgovori čovjek -
samo se poslužite...! Tip naravno jedva dočeka da
se natklopi na omiljeno jelo,
proždrljivo pojede gotovo
pola činije, kad shvati da je u
čiliji napola skuvan pacov !
Zgađen prizorom, histerično poče da povraća u činiju. Na to će susjed:
• Jeste, jeste, dotle sam i ja
stigao..




Ulovio Etiopljanin zlatnu ribicu pa će mu ona: Ako me pustiš... NJAM







Došao Ciga kod doktora i žali se na uvo.
Doktor ga pita: "Kakvi su ti simptomi?"
Ciga odgovara: "Simptomi su mi odlični. Najviše mi se sviđa Bart!






Zatekao Perica mamu,kako oralno zadovoljava tatu u spavaćoj sobi,pa kaže:
-Mamu vam je*em poremećenu!
A mene ste vodili kod psihologa jer sam sisao palac!



Išao sam kasno noću ... Ispred mene je išla neka devojka .---.. poče da ubrzava hod i ja ubrzah za njom . Ona poče da trči i ja potrčah ..... Ona poče da vrišti i ja zavrištah još glasnije ! Čak nisam ni video od čega smo bežali ..


Decko: Gde si ljubavi?
Devojka: Evo me u Visegradu na Savi.
Decko: Visegrad je na Drini?!
Devojka: Ma otkud ja znam, evo ti Sava pa ga pitaj!




Mujo i Fata bili u braku preko 20 godina, i svako veče spavali zajedno.
Međutim, sve vreme Mujo je insistirao da to bude u mrklom mraku. Dosadilo Fati i jedne noći ona u "najžešćem" trenutku upali svetlo, kad Mujo posao obavlja vibratorom. Ona skoči na njega:
- "Pa, jesi li ti normalan, otkad ovo traje, šta ti radiš, svinjo jedna, sve mi objasni!?!"
Kaže Mujo:
- "Ma lako ću ja tebi da objasnim vibrator.... nego ti meni objasni decu?



Дечко: Ја сам Слободан.
Девојка: И ја сам исто.
Дечко: Тако лепа девојка,а зове се Слободан.



Muž ženi šalje poruku: "Idem sa drugovima popiti pivo, ako ne dođem za 20 min, pročitaj poruku ponovo"



Zove Ciga svoju omiljenu radio emisiju i traži da mu ispune muzičku želju:
• Da mi pustiš, brate, ''Ninu'' od Džeja!
• Pored sve dobre volje, mi ovde stvarno ne znamo koja je to pesma ''Nina'' - odgovara radio voditelj - Ako biste eventualno mogli malo da nam pomognete i da zapevate da znamo o čemu se radi...
A Ciga će spremno:
• Može, može... Nina istok, Nina zapad...

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vicoteka 3 deo :) (13 years ago)

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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