Article
- "Jeste li vidjeli sto je vas majmun ucinio?"
- "Ne. Sto je taj prokletnik opet napravio?" upita covjek.
- "Upravo je progutao crnu osmicu!" odgovori Vlasnik.
- "Nadam se da ce zbog toga um
rijeti". pomisli vlasnik, "Stvarno mi ide na zivce taj ..."
Popije covjek do kraja i ode s majmunom. Nakon 2 tjedna dolazi covjek s majmunom ponovo u bar. Opet naruci pivo, dok se majmun opet majmunira. Odjednom majmun skoci na bar i uzme jedan kikiriki, gurne ga polako u guzicu, onda ga izvadi, pogleda i pojede. Vlasnik bara:
- "Jeste li vidjeli sto je majmun ucinio?"
Covjek:
- "Ne, sto sad opet?"
- "Pa ugurao si je kikiriki u guzicu, izvadio i pojeo!!!"
Covjek:
- "Pa jasno, nije ni on glup! Otkad je progutao onu crnu osmicu, prvo proba da li ce moci izaci ono sto kroz usta udje.
-Jao užas!!!! Poslao sam devojku po pivo, a nju udario autobus..
-Užas! Šta sada?!
-Nemam pojma, imam neku rakiju.
Ti si pedofil?
-Odakle ti to?
-Pa rekla mi tvoja devojka.
-Ma sta ona zna sa 7 godina
Bio Mujo kod psihologa i ovaj mu nacrta na papiru trougao i pita: - Šta sam nacrtao na papiru? - Pi*ku, odgovori Mujo. - A sada?, upita doktor i nacrta krug. - Pi*ku, opet odgovori Mujo. - A sada?, upita doktor i nacrta kvadrat. - Pi*ku?, opet će Mujo, a na to će doktor: - Gospodine, Vi ste seksualno opterećeni. - Ja? Pa ko crta pi*ke, ja il' ti?
Vozio dečak bicikl pored reke, ali mu pukne guma, pa padne u reku i udavi se. Dečakov otac održi sledeći govor na sahrani:
- Rodio si se zbog pukle gume i zbog nje si umro.
Ja: Ponekad pričam sam sa sobom.
Ja: I ja isto
Koja žena dobije najviše ruža na 8. mart?
- Ona koja umre 7. marta
Dolazi prodavac usisivača kod babe na vrata,
- Evo imamo nove….
- Nemam ja para sinko!
- Ma samo mala demonstracija.
Uđe on i iz kese istrese gomilu balege babi na tepih.
- Ako usisivač ovo ne pokupi do zadnje mrve, ja ću to da pojedem!
- E Bogami sinko hoćeš, meni juče isključili struju!
Dolazi muz ranije kuci i vidi zenu kako lezi gola u krevetu :
Muz:Sto si gola?
Zena:Nemam sta da obucem,
Muz:Kako nemas otvori on ormar i kaze:
Vidi crvena haljina,bela haljina,zuta haljina,zdravo komsija,roze haljina..
Tri razloga zašto je svet otišlo u tri
lepe: Najbolji reper je belac. Najbolji igrač golfa je crnac. …A Nemci neće da
ratuju...
Postoje dve vrste žena : DOBRE i JAKO dobre žene .
DOBRE žene imaju dobro D, male P i znaju da drže do K .
( pri čemu je D - domaćinstvo, P - Potrebe, a K - kuhinja) ...
a to što ste vi pomislili to su JAKO dobre žene!
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
