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昨天晚上去澡堂洗澡,售票员问我去男浴室还是女浴室,男浴室票价10元,女浴室票价100元,我是男的,干嘛要去女浴室?不过想想怎么相差这么大,我还是大方的拿出了100元,一进女浴室,靠,怎么全是男的!



车主:喂,保险公司吗?我报保险! 接待:您好,您的车子怎么了。 车主:草泥马,我说让狗咬了你信吗!

1.一MM胸特别平,怕男友知道嫌弃自己,所以便瞒着男友。终于,他们第一次上了床,关了灯、钻进被窝。。当男友摸到MM胸部的时候,男友说:“亲爱的,别趴着睡啊!”
2.一男子去看心理医生:“我实在受不了了!我太太对我不忠!”心理医生:“放松点,具体是怎样对你不忠呢?”男子:“她每晚都去酒吧,几乎对所有男人都有兴趣,我快要气疯了!”心理医生:“不要太激动!告诉我,这个酒吧在哪里??”
3.女: 亲爱的,你觉得我有什么优点啊?
男: 宽厚
女: 是说我大方得体,不拘小节吗?
男: 不,是说你站着比别人宽,躺着比别人厚!
4.一老外去故宫旅游,却不知道怎么走,于是找人问路。 由于老外把故宫和紫禁城弄混了,所以便问成了:“紫宫怎么走?” 路人瞪了一眼老外,答道:“你妈B,走到头儿。”
5.妻子和丈夫逛街,妻子的裙子突然被大风吹了起来!妻子惊慌地按着裙子大喊:“天啊!春光外泄!” 丈夫白了她一眼说:“拜托!是家丑外扬吧!”
6.和老公爱爱,老公问我怎么样,我只说了一个字:茴。老公:这什么意思啊。我:这还不直白啊,就是被你操完后回头还想再来啊,多么言简意赅啊 .....
7.前几天热,穿的丝袜, 我一男性好朋友故意损我说 :就你那大象腿还穿丝袜!!!我不甘示弱的回他一句 :就你那小牙签不也照样得带套 ~~~~~然后,一转脸发现我老公脸色都变了 ………
8.夜里老婆听到老公啜泣,忙把老公叫醒,问:“咋了?”   老公说:“梦见自己又结婚了。”   老婆说:“不是早就想再找一个吗?哭啥呀,该高兴呀。”   老公说:“洞房的时候一揭盖头,还是你!”......
9.昨晚做了个奇怪的梦,梦到一只黄鼠狼一直追着我,于是我就问老公这是什么寓意啊。老公:可能在暗示你是一只鸡,一只鸡......
10.凌晨一点多,看见一个穿貂的女的,把她拽到胡同里说,把衣服脱下来,这女的说,冷,直接脱裤子吧,我当时就急了,我TMD要貂。
11.庄稼汉进城买避孕套,忘了避孕套怎么说。在药店柜前转悠半天,还是想不起来。最后只好小声地问女售货员:小姐,有没有卖装jj的塑料袋?
12.一对盲人夫妇约定ML暗号,男人说:“打牌。”女人说:“开始。”隔壁小青年经常听到打牌,心想盲人怎么打牌呢?于是偷窥,一看原来如此。某日,小青年趁男盲人外出,溜进其家,对女盲人说:“打牌。”女盲人说:“开始。”于是两人xj。小青年本领大,至高潮处,女盲人连夸:“好牌。”到了晚上,男盲人又想与妻打牌,女盲人说:“你不是白天打了一次了吗?”男盲人一听,又急又气,惊呼:“不好,有人偷牌!”
13.女领导夜归,突被两男架上车,一男威胁说:“老实点,劫色的。”女领导闻言笑骂道:“他爹的,这么愉快的事,搞得这么紧张,吓死了,我还以为被双规了!”
14.乡下,一小男孩满身大汗拉着一头牛。路过的游客好奇地问:”你要把牛拉到哪去?〃”到邻村和母牛配种。
〃”这样的事不能让你父亲做吗?〃 男孩连连摇头:”不行,一定得公牛才行!〃
15.医生与院长不和,被调至妇科,窃喜。次日接看女患者数十名,连摸带看,持续勃起八小时。晚上老婆缠着ML,阳萎不举。才恍然大悟:干他娘!又被领导暗算了!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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