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1、我过年最喜欢见亲戚了
“结婚了吗?”
“哦,女儿都两岁半了。喏,给你看照片!”
“哦,收入咋样?”
“今年不咋样,五百万不到吧~”
“嗯,买房了吗?”
“准备买第四套了!”然后亲戚拍拍我的肩膀,对旁边的母亲说:“病情比去年稳定多了,去年过年还咬人呢!”
2、和爸爸去买年货,在超市里遇见了熟人,见面免不了几句客套话。。。
阿姨说我长的白,也变得漂亮了!
我爸说,是啊,这都三天没洗脸了,要不然比这白!
3、我戴着墨镜去超市,我妈让我拿掉。我说:我是明星!!
我妈好认真的建议我去看心理医生!然后这几天她都在认真查阅她订阅的家庭医生杂志,分析我的病情,完全忘记逼婚的事情了。
4、今天带儿子玩擦炮,觉得很小没什么威力,就随手扔马桶里了。。。结果马桶裂了,好几百大洋啊!
5、马上新年了!问4岁的女儿,过了年你又长了一岁,有什么愿望说出来,爸爸帮你实现。
女儿:“我希望新的一年里,光头强不再砍树!”
这个,爸爸真帮不了你!
6、今天我妈去买年货,逛街回来。“你看,我买了个大衣。好看不?”
“好看,多钱?”
“2100,你爸要是问,你知道咋回答不?”
“知道,210。”
“你可真是妈的小棉袄。”
7、春节期间,街上专门找一对一对情侣那种的,然后问那男的:我给你一百块,让我扇你一巴掌好么?
男的肯定抹不开面,冷冷的会看这你说:我给你二百块钱扇你一巴掌好么?(有些土豪人还说一千呢,一万的也会有)
你敢快点头,说:好啊! 好啊!
不骗你,一天能赚很多的!
这届春晚充斥着浓厚的雄性荷尔蒙,
邀请了张丰毅,朱亚文、段奕宏,韩磊,吴京,张震等一众硬汉,
弃掉了刘谦,YIF,以及韩国欧巴。
最后导演组还是嫌不够男人味,又特地找来了春哥


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2.20 (10 years ago)

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2.22 (10 years ago)

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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