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要价:300
便宜点吧?
给你少20,
太贵了
你多少想要
60
靓仔,真皮的,你摸摸,你成心要,200给你
60
60我拿货都拿不到,第一单生意,150最低了
60
60真不能卖,你再加点
那我再去别处看看
80要不要,不赚你钱
60就要
好啦,60就60,过来

买东西最恐怖的是:你战战兢兢说了个价,老板难为了一下就瞬间答应了。。。

自从来了哈哈,节操彻底没了,看男人先看膝盖,看女人先看中指,逛超市看谁买黄瓜,杂货店看谁买打气筒,就连尼玛的见个女的踩单车都不自觉的看一下有没有装坐垫!…我不要这样,你还我从前…

歹徒:你媳妇在我手上,马上打一万块钱来!!
吊丝:我TM几百块钱买的,你跟我要一万???

刚收到一条短信,说我被“非常6+1”节目组抽中为幸运观众,
得了二等奖。当时我差点没感动哭了。现在火的节目这么多,
竟然还有人坚持用“非常6+1”骗钱,这不是品牌忠诚度是什么?

今天单位女同事带他四五岁的儿子来单位,大家问他:爸爸好还是妈妈好?
小朋友悄悄地回答:爸爸好!
大家继续逗他问为什么。
小朋友看着妈妈大声道:因为他娶个好老婆,然后又生个好儿子。。。。
哟西,这孩子,前途大大的

孩子问父亲什么是黑社会,父亲语重心长 的说:“手里拿着佛珠,身上挂着各种文 玩 ,平时闻个香,品个茶,温文尔雅, 举止得体的这叫黑社会”孩子又天真的地 问:“那些烧烤店光膀子纹身,喝着啤 酒、戴金链子、张口CNM、闭口 NMLGB、夹个小包、烟不离手的那是什 么”父亲笑了笑说:“孩子,那是SB”

今下午一开保时捷卡宴的把车停我店门口,看他下车LZ以为他要进我店买东西,谁知道他默默的打开后尾箱拿了一个包裹进店跟我说:“老板,有你快递。”卧槽,你才是老板。

如果犯了以下三点,那你注定吊丝一世。

  一:幻想怎么一夜暴富

  二:幻想有钱怎么装B

  三:怎么和她偶遇。

  可我天天心里想的就是这些啊!!!!


公交车上,一小伙儿给一老太太让了座,不一会儿小伙电话响了,小伙儿接了起来,只听他说:“我现在在火车上,我已经走了,你以后也不要再找我了,你不信?我真的在火车上!”这时,只见老太太清清嗓子,喊道:“啤酒饮料矿泉水,花生瓜子八宝粥了,来,收一下脚了啊。。。”
中华好队友。。。。。。

女生寝室楼的对面是男生寝室楼。
  这晚刚入夜,万籁俱寂,
  忽听男寝楼中传来某男生高喊:"xxx,我爱你!"
  霎时对面楼层中的女人们炸开了锅,
  纷纷羡慕嫉妒这是谁家男友如此玩浪漫。
  然正当此时,却又听另一哥们儿大吼到:"刚刚谁TM喊哥名字?!"
  世界顿时安静了……
这是个基情的年代。。

好像刚到中国的老外都搞不懂寿衣店是干啥的。姐们的意大利对象一句中文不会,无意走进寿衣店,觉得一切都很美,当场买回一个盖遗体的绸子,两个小花圈。然后温馨布置了卧室,绸子搭在被子上,花圈摆在床头,然后入眠。姐们下夜班回来走进卧室就着昏暗月光吓得一屁股坐在地上,嗷一声喊的一楼都听见了。#这画面感,炸裂了。。。#

周星驰超级大垃圾!连一部像样的作品都没有只会沽名钓誉!论搞笑根本就比不上赵本山小沈阳刘能赵四等世界级巨星!全国96.7%的人每周都会收看咱们的《刘老根大舞台》,而且周星驰电影里大部分的搞笑情节都是抄袭《刘老根大舞台》的(特别是《功夫》和《少林足球》)!所以说周星驰的电影只不过只是三流货色,全球真正搞笑的还当属赵本山小沈阳刘能赵四等真正的世界级搞笑艺术大师!
我话说完了 可以把刀拿开了吗?

刚才跟老婆大吵了一架,心情坏透了。等她睡觉之后,我偷偷溜进厨房,把橱柜里的瓶瓶罐罐都拧了个严严实实。让你气我,让你气我,非得让你求我给你拧开。。。

做坏事早晚都会被发现,所以要中午做。

有一回去医院,碰到小孩子打针,大概只有四五岁,一般小孩子遇到打针都会哭着喊我不要打针之类的,结果当两个医生护士按住他的时候他说:你们要干嘛,哎哟,妈呀,畜生啊。

打车,等红灯的时候司机说了一句话让我跟我的小伙伴们都惊呆了。

他说:“卧槽!这是哪?”

以前觉得古天乐那种小麦肤色好帅,现在自己也晒成那种颜色之后才发现……尼玛……人的长像才是帅不帅的最主要因素……

今天在外面工作回来快到镇上了打老爸电话
我:爸我回来了马上到镇上了来接我咯
爸:两个人回来的还是一个啊
我:就我一个啊
爸:反正走路也只要个把小时 锻炼锻炼身体吧 挂了

撸主高中的时候和班上另一个男生长得比较像,身材也差不多。。。他谈了个女朋友,晚自习下课和女朋友牵手踩马路,被班主任在车里看见了。。。。然后第二天尼玛就请了我的家长。。。。艹。。。。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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