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顾客:老板老板!老板:啥子事哦?顾客:你这鱼香茄子咋没鱼哦?老板:鱼香茄子本来就没鱼!顾客:那为啥子叫鱼香茄子哦?老板:先人板板,叫你这么说,老子给你整个“虎皮青椒”还给你整张虎皮,给你个“夫妻肺片”,还给你去杀俩人哦?

记者假扮患者,前去某医院暗访并接受体检,竟被告知患有不育症。而事实上,这名记者的儿子都已经一岁了。记者的邻居王先生分析称:肯定是医院为了敛财而做出虚假的诊断,现在真是人心叵测!

今天我和一女同学玩游戏的时候,问她,你人品好吗?她说 “在娘胎的时候没有被辐射,刚出生的时候没有被医生拐卖,小时候没喝过三鹿,上学时没遇到变态的校长,现在玩游戏没碰到过小学生,你觉得我人品怎样!” 当时就忍不住想点个赞了!!!

昨天,我抱着儿子去跟隔壁的小女孩儿一起抓周!
人家小女孩儿抓了一只画笔,也许长大会成为一名画家!
当好奇儿子会抓什么的时候,他却紧紧的抓住小女孩的手!

路上,狂风暴雨,雷电交加!路人急性躲雨,这时一熊孩子在雨中喊到,可是昆仑派道友在此渡劫??

有一个同事,他老婆叫小月,生了个儿子,取名叫小辉。别人问他为什么给他儿子取这个名字,他说:日月生辉。

女:如果我跟你妈一起掉进水里 你救谁
男:我妈会游泳 她顺道救你上来
女:你一定要下去!
男:那你死定了 我不会游泳 我妈肯定救我
女:。。。

我现在就想知道两件事:1,艾滋病最早是在非洲中部黑猩猩身上发现的,它是怎么传给人的。2,最早发现奶牛的奶能喝的,他对奶牛究竟做了什么!?

猪场的猪也建了笑话论坛,有如下规定:可谈论吃糠、吃豆饼、吃玉米等“乐事”,不可谈论出栏、屠宰、培根、火腿等“政事”,栏中众猪纷纷表示赞同:我们是来享受快乐的,说什么出栏这种事情太扫兴了!

怎样含蓄地表达「我已经被收买了」?
我说句公道话……

今天同事电脑中毒,开机半小时都没看到桌面。我去给看看,结果把我惊呆了。终于看到了最最牛x的病毒,病毒中的最高境界。它把孙子兵法用的炉火纯青,隔岸观火、四两破千斤什么的用的恰到好处。它一次性的给电脑装上了36玲杀毒、败毒杀毒、金3杀毒、瑞兴杀毒、qq电脑官家五大杀毒,外加各自跟班36玲卫视、金山卫视、败毒卫视。瑞兴助手等等。那家伙打的是昏天暗地,电脑卡的不行啊,这难道就是传说中的五岳剑派要合并,岳不群大战左冷禅?

一日,有一青年赤裸躺在森林的草丛中,有一小姑娘采蘑菇,“一个,两个,三个,四个,四个,四个,四个,四个…”,男子觉得很爽,翌日赤裸躺在丛林中,来一狗熊来采蘑菇,“一个,两个,三个,四个,四个,四个,五个六个七个。”

下午和闺蜜穿着以前一起买的同款T恤逛街。
到一个咖啡厅歇歇脚,看到俩帅哥坐旁边。他俩一直在看我们俩并且说悄悄话。我们就窃窃私语讨论俩帅哥哪个更帅。
突然其中一个突然走了过来。惹的我俩心跳加速小鹿乱撞!
帅哥冲我们微微一笑羞涩的说:两位美女请问你们这情侣装哪里买的?我男朋友也想要。

我小侄儿在外面放鞭玩。 熊孩子估计把烟花里面的火药粉拆开,洒烟灰缸里了。 你能想象他爸把烟头往里一戳,那火星子给个老爷们吓得嗷一嗓子么。。。

老师:“小丽,小明,你们谈谈对大学的感受。”
小丽:“大学生活可好啦。”
小明:“大学生,活儿可好啦。”
老师:“……滚出去”

在微博看到有人说在湖南,
跟老板说:“老板,这个菜不放辣。”
老板:“那你来炒。”
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
这画面感爆掉了..

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2.10 (11 years ago)

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2.12 (11 years ago)

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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