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1. 其实相较于那些温文尔雅,有内涵,懂礼貌,浪漫贴心的男朋友,我更倾向于简单粗暴型的,什么都不必说,直接把一塌红色毛爷爷甩脸上,附加一句:“限你两小时之内把这十万花光,不然弄死你。”
2. 刚谈了个异地恋,我妈死活不同意,女友飞了两个小时特意来见我,却被我妈挡在了门外,“阿姨,求求你,放过我们吧!”我妈哭道。
3. 一朋友姐姐的事。他姐第一次来月经的时候,才12岁,上小学什么都不懂,看到那里流血了吓个半死,也不敢告诉家人,以为自己得了绝症,然后悄悄把他拉出去说:“弟,我得了癌症,快死了,你千万不要告诉爸妈,让我安静的死去,我鞋垫下边还有十块钱,你拿去花吧!“还是以前的孩纸比较单纯善良呀!
4. 我的女友叫朱静,今天第一次带她回家,我进门就说“妈!朱静来了”我妈在厨房应了一句“那就把猪赶出去啊!”我蒙了!
5. 今天和女朋友约好到我家嘿咻嘿咻,先洗了个澡,想了想等一下用什么姿势TM就硬了,然后我女朋友打电话说她到了就在门口,我直接兴奋的连衣服裤子都没穿就去开门了,谁知道她后面还站着她闺密,你们说我女朋友是怎么想的啊?!
6. 那天,我追公交车,地太滑,不小心摔了一跤!正好摔到一个私家车旁,车里一大哥正打电话呢,突然看到我躺在他车旁边,非常吃惊!于是下车把我扶起,并给了我三千块钱小声说道:“对不起!妹子!我不是故意的,我真没看见你...”就这样,我走上了一条发家致富的道路...
7. 今天坐中巴车,尿急,估摸着还有十分钟就到站了强忍着再憋会,这时同座的一帅哥要下车,他刚站起来司机师傅猛一刹车,帅哥重心不稳一屁股坐我身上了,那泡尿就在此刻爆发了,一发不可收拾啊…………姐要自尽,大家不要拦着我。
8. 你老公还在每天以加班为借口晚归吗?哥们给你支支招,500毫升白开水放冰箱冻到5度左右,等他回来逼他一次喝完,如果真加班,没事,如果偷情回来,轻则生活不能自理,重则毙命,不用谢!
9. 相信大家都遇见过,在火车站,商业街,有人拿着苹果手机,问你要不要!尼嘛!三年前在深圳我不知道那是骗子,上当花1500买了个,回去才知道被骗了,他给我看得那个是真的,买给我得是假得!年底了,我辞职要回老家,在街上我又遇见几个,我心里恨呀,然后叫了个朋友,骑上他的确摩托车,在街上找那些骗子,他把真苹果6给我看,我拿着爬上我朋友得摩托车就跑了,现在已经是第五个了!哈哈,真舒坦!对了,有人要手机不?行货,便宜卖!
10. 今天去超市买碗,收银的妹子说:“两块五”,我没零钱给了一张十块的,妹子找钱的时候我脑子一抽就递碗过去接着,收银妹子笑抽了,后面排队的人笑翻了。唉!职业病!伤不起啊。
11.老王一大早去民政局,非要跟媳妇儿离婚。
工作人员问:“离婚啥啊,这一大早的,好好过日子得了。?” 老王说:“我昨晚回家给她讲个笑话,她没笑。”
工作人员说:“一边待着去,就因为这个,这算啥事啊,瞎扯淡,不能离。”
老王哭了:“她没笑,妈的,床底下一个男滴憋不住,笑了…”
12.甲:哥们,在忙什么呢?
乙:在准备下一部电影。
甲:牛掰啊!干这行了。啥类型的?进度如何?
乙:动作片。进度还行,已经下载了85%

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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