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1. 中午准备睡午觉,窗外一个六七岁的小男孩和一个小女孩在玩游戏,一个追着另个跑,追到后再换另一个追,一个中午都在不断重复这个游戏,乐此不疲。我被吵得不行,开窗对他们说:“都一中午了,你们俩就这样追来追去无聊不?”小男孩停下脚步,看了我一眼,怜悯地说:“一点也不无聊。叔叔,你还是单身吧?”
2. 有个新兵,刚到兵营,每次紧急集合都是因为穿衣服太慢被骂,于是他把衣服脱光了,在身上画了一身迷彩服。终于,紧急集合又来了,而他却是第一个到,长官非常高兴的拍了拍他说道:“不错,有进步,不过下次记得把手榴弹挂到后面!!”
3. 朋友跟他老婆激战后,他老婆说怀孕了,朋友开玩笑冒了一句:不知道是谁的?结果他老婆恼羞成怒的大喝道:除了你不带T,别人都带T,不是你的是谁的?后来想想,觉得有道理!
4. 老师:“你死后最希望别人指着你的尸体说什么?” 小红:“看,他是个伟大的科学家!”小刚:“看,他是个伟大的物理学家!”小明:“看,他动了!”
5. 有一哥们想给领导送礼,就在烟酒店里买了两瓶好酒,在路上一直想着该怎么跟领导说说升职的事儿,以至于买酒找回来的零钱还拿在手里,到了领导家敲门领导出来开门的时候,两个人同时愣住了,因为领导的领导也在!这哥们在愣了两秒之后立马反应过来说:“领导你让我买的酒我给你买回来了,这是找回的零钱。”
6. 昨晚,老公揉着太阳穴对我说:“老婆,我脑袋疼。”我问道:“是不是要感冒啊?”老公说:“不是,我的脑袋里装的全是你。”我听了心里挺美,有些小感动。结果老公接着说:“以前你那么瘦,我还勉强能承受,现在你体积这么大,撑得我头疼。”
7. 猎人捉住一只狐狸觉得它可怜就把它放了。从此他家就发生了奇怪的事,每次回家锅里总是有热腾腾的粥。直到半年后有个道士从他家门前过,对猎人说:你家里好重的妖气!猎人端出粥,道士说:这粥可吃不得!这是狐狸精做的!第二天猎人假装打猎突然回家推开门,赫然发现那只狐狸站在他的锅台上打飞机。
8. 四岁的女儿和十岁的儿子吵架,儿子扬言要打女儿,女儿赶紧跑到我身后求报护。我刚要开口劝儿子不要跟妹妹计较,儿子就气乎乎的坐到了一旁说:“爸,我和你是十年的老交情了,你和她才认识四年,你自己看着办吧!”
9. 我在工地上班,伙食非常差。一个夏天的晚上打完菜到工棚准备开吃。这时表哥冲进来说:“走!兄弟,出去吃!”我心里那个高兴啊,把饭扔进垃圾桶就跑,只见表哥坐在门口吃着饭,对我说:“屋里热,外边吃多凉快....”我次奥....表哥,你过来,我昨天干活的时候捡到一块上好的砖头。。。
10. 大学室友是个富二代,有几天闷闷不乐,我们问他什么情况,是不是失恋了?那小子来了句:“失恋只是少了一个女朋友或者老婆,我一年不回家, 我老妈生了个弟弟,少了一半家产!”
11.今天吃完饭,付钱,一新疆哥们说:“羊肉泡馍加牛肉饺子一共二十!”我一看身上没零钱就拿了张一百的给他,他找我八十!先给了一张二十加一张十块。他在找五十的整张的时候,我一下脑子不好使,就说不用了我有二十,给你吧!然后这哥们就把一百还给我了,还说有零钱不早说!我想也是!
12.刚刚走路上,听到一个麻麻对她孩子说,你老师说你有特异功能,就是完美闪避所有正确答案,笑死我了!

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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