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2. 跟老公说副驾驶不可以有除了我其他的女人坐，老公答应了，然后我问他，如果别的女人要坐，你怎么拒绝她们，他说：“别坐！没看见那有人么！”..怎么感觉突然冷飕飕的？
3. 昨晚开车经过广场时遇到个迷路的姑娘，我让她坐上车，把她送到她家小区门口，关切地问她：“这下认识路了吧？”姑娘点点头，于是我又把车开回了广场，笑着说：“那你自己走回去吧。”
4. 我和我班的班长坐在一起，今天上课的时候，他竟然睡着了，出于礼貌，就叫醒他:“喂！下课啦！”没想到这2B闭着眼站起来:“起立！”然后最后面一排的同志一起闭着眼有气无力的喊着:“老师再见！”我现在还记得老师呆滞的眼神。。。。
5. 去超市，购物出来开车时，一大姐对着我车按遥控器，我开门后她上车弄半天，下来问我说：“老弟，车不好使了，帮忙看看”，我上车用我钥匙就打着火了，她一脸惊恐的看着我，“你的钥匙怎么好使呢？”我说：“姐，这我车！ 你车在旁边。。。。”
6. 去洗澡，洗到一半来个服务员（妹子，长得还不错）敲门说：“要不要敲背按摩”，我一想最近也挺累就让她给按摩了，按了大概有十分钟不到她停下了，我问她：“怎么了？”她居然可怜兮兮的跟我说：“她太久没做正规按摩了她不会了！！！”还说让我改大宝剑，她不收我钱！！！我当时就醉了。。。。
7. 今天中午陪二货老婆去小店铺买她爱吃的薯片，拿了一包，付钱时问老板:“多少钱？”老板：“三块五。”老婆不乐意了：“这上面建议零售价明明是三块。”老板霸气的来了句：“我不接受它的建议。”本以为老婆会不买了，不料，二货老婆任性的说：“你不接受，本小姐接受！”然后快速的扔下三个硬币，疯狂的跑出小店，优雅的骑上电驴，加上最大油门～跑了。。。留下我和老板在风中凌乱。。
8. 一妹子擦拭着路边捡的油灯，她的狗躺在边上。一个妖怪出现在她面前，说满足她三个愿望。妹子说：“花不完的钱，美貌，把狗变成帅哥。”话音刚落她发现满屋子的钱，从镜子里看到一个美艳的自己，狗不见了，她正被一个帅哥搂在怀里。她感觉幸福的快死了，帅哥在她耳边低语：“后悔阉了我了吗？”
9. 大学快毕业了，假期回家和高中的几个老同学聚聚，最后和老同桌抢着买单的时候，我们俩都掏出钱准备付账，收银员不知道接谁的好，我那二货同学一把夺过我的钱对收银员说：“不要收他的钱”，然后把他的钱给了收银员，拿着我的钱装到自己钱包回去接着吃喝，留下我和收银员在暖气中颤抖。。。。
10. 小明到水果店对老板说：“如果5元一斤的苹果我买3斤，6元一斤的葡萄我买4斤，7元一斤梨我买5斤，总共要付你多少钱呢？”老板说：“74元。”小明转身就走，嘴里说：“谢谢老板帮我算出了数学题！”
11.小明:老师你活了几十年，最开心的时候是什么？
老师:那年，我娶了我老婆，晚上一炮而红。太高兴了
小明:老师，你那不是一炮而红吧？
老师:那是什么？
小明:一针见血！！
12.以前上课，我的手总是旁边同桌(男的)大腿上的常客。最近换了座位，手还是习惯性的伸了过去… pia的一声我被甩了一巴掌，全班人都望向了我们，尤其是脸上印着红巴掌印的我，卧槽！！我居然忘了旁边换了个女同桌！！
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
