Esim - 5.15
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1.老板去算命。割革哥ge。。。算命的说他到79岁就要什么有什么了。老板淡淡的说:是呀,要什么烧就可以了。。算命的一脸黑线'''

2.同事的孩子上二年级了,学习非常不好,过完年聚会同事带孩子去了,我们问考的怎么样啊,孩子低头一句话也不说,同事生气的说又是倒数第一,新来的一个同事就问这孩子你是不是偏科啊,孩子抬起头弱弱的说:”阿姨,不偏科,语文12分,数学13分。”


3.记得上学的时候班主任经常这样抱怨“我一节课才赚你们几十块钱,却要操碎了心。”然后有个哥们低声回答,“老子花了好几千给学校,每天过得提心吊胆,还的随随便便挨你们的打骂,我特么的不也是犯贱么!”




4.军训时由于裤子不结实裤裆开了一个小口、本觉得特别不好意思!但有没有针线只好小心点、但是当下午大热天在太阳下站军姿时偶然觉得裤裆凉嗖嗖的!才发现自己其实很幸福。

5.在公司和一群同事瞎掰,说从撸管姿势可以看出一个人的潜力--先割为敬--“右手撸的注定吊丝,左手撸的必成高富帅,两只手抱着撸的……”话没说完一女同事弱弱的接了一句:“要有这么粗还用撸么…”。。 瞬间无语凝咽。。。


6.姐幼儿园时好丢东西。一日老妈数落:丢丢丢,这星期你都丢7回橡皮了!你去给我偷回来!!!晚上回家,我老师一手领着我,一手背了一书包的橡皮回家找我妈谈话。


7.上大学时,院主任姓王,特喜欢同学奉承特二逼的那种,背景完毕,标准割。有一次班会,她眉飞色舞的说“听说你们喊我王妈妈,我很欣慰”。”我旁边一二货同学接到“王妈妈,金莲最近可好?”


8.今天去裁缝店里补衣服~~割割更健康~~店里的八哥鸟和我搭讪!说:''你好,你好。''太可爱鸟!!!我不做声,看着它。。gc来了。。。那货大叫:''喂喂,你怎么不讲话呀。。。。''事实证明,这货成精了哦。。。。


9.我那二逼女友…割了可不行…人家别的女友都会这样问男朋友:“要是你妈不喜欢我怎么办?”可是我那二逼女友是这样问我的:“要是你爸喜欢上我怎么办?”


10.刚才睡觉。刚睡着听到房间里有人走路。给我马上吓醒。因为只有我自己。打开灯看了一圈没人。这时候又听到走路的声音。我一瞧。你妈哦。狗穿我的拖鞋 跑着玩呢。

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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