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情不自禁上去摸了摸狗头，亲切握爪，旁边警察一脸黑线，说:“你这算袭警你知道吗……”
你咬我啊～～～
2、今天老婆问我她跟闺蜜谁漂亮，这种政治问题老夫岂能答错？我直接回答:你闺蜜长啥样来着？我没记住。_
3、前两天大表哥买了辆二手奥拓，非要载我去逛街，我看那破破烂烂的汽车就真心找不出地方夸两句，正好大表哥按喇叭，声音嘎嘣脆的，我就说，大表哥你这车可以啊，喇叭挺脆的，他说当然了，刹车不灵就算了，喇叭再不好使还怎么开，尼玛～
4、媳妇老爸有一个土豪朋友，姓苟。苟大叔有个儿子，万般无奈跟他爸姓了。
老苟小苟都是从小被挤兑着长大的，渐渐地，他们开始以这个姓氏为傲。
于是他俩现在的QQ签名等所有介绍都是傲然的四个字:
仅次于狼
5、电梯里遇到邻居大娘：＂出差回来了？好几个月没见你了。＂没出差，一直加班呢。＂
6、去女友家看到女友床上躺一巨型毛绒玩具，
哥当时就不淡定了，揪起丫的就抽：
“叫你睡我老婆！叫你睡我老婆！”
一回头发现未来丈母娘正一脸纠结的看着我……
7、看到一位同事跟他老婆玩麻将玩得不亦乐乎。我忍不住问他：跟你老婆玩麻将有意思吗？？？ 同事抹了一把汗，叹息道，“只有这样才能收回一部分薪水啊！”
8、去堂兄家玩，看侄子既不玩电脑也不看电视，就在那做作业，做完还反复检查。我问他：你咋这么努力？他说：明早有同学抄我作业，五元一个，我必须保证准确率，这样生意才能长久。。。。我惊呆了！你咋那么机智，你父母不知道吧？
9、尼玛呀！刚才邻居小男孩来我家玩儿，他上四年级，用我手机上QQ，我扫了一眼，妈蛋的居然有个分组是（女朋友）还特么六个，靠，真心老了伤不起啊
10、一个宿舍有木有学霸和学神不重要，
一个宿舍有木有主席和部长也不重要。
关键是，要有逗逼。同意吗~
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
