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2.发个大学的。。。。。。。lz男。。一次，lz生病，到中午饭点，宿舍大哥去吃饭，问我要吃点啥，我给他两块钱，说:老大，给我从楼下买根烤肠。一会，大哥回来了，把一根长条面包扔给我。我接过，楞了。问他我烤肠呢？大哥一脸茫然，烤肠，什么，你要的是烤肠？我说怎么听你说要什么好长。我转了半天，整个店里就这个符合你条件，好长好长，2块。。。。
3.z小的时候家在农村，有次要拉粑粑，就对妈妈说“妈妈我要粑粑，拉在哪呢？”妈妈说拉在鸭子旁边吧，一会我就哭着回来了，“妈，鸭子老跑”
4.LZ彪悍妹纸一枚，班上有另一枚妹纸生性活泼，经常和同桌打闹，，，，，，，，今天她又把她男同桌欺负到墙上了，，当那个男人说，你放开我，不然我就反攻了！！！此枚妹纸，大吼一句，你打不过我的，我今天没来大姨妈，是满血状态，，，，，妹纸完胜！！！！！
5.有段时间大家都迷恋戴金链子，有一二货同学戴着条假的去火车站，不料一男子揪下就跑，旁边的大爷坐不住了，着急的说：小伙子快追啊。同学淡定的摆摆手：不就是万八块钱的事，不追了。
6.前门附近，外地来京旅游的中年人拦住一个中学生，问：“小伙子，这附近有什么好玩的地方吗？”中学生听后，指着前方说：“往前面走，有个地方很不错。”“那个……我刚来北京，你能带我过去吗？”“行”，中学生热情地引着中年人走了十分钟左右，在一个胡同口停下来，说：“你看，那边有个网吧！
7.和朋友去吃午饭，店家生意特别好，饭口排队，我们去的早先吃上了（朋友家开熟食店）…割了朋友忙碌的JJ…我抱怨最近上班好累啊！朋友来句:你有我累吗？！我早上做鸡，晚上做鸭，中午还得做经理，我才累……周围人瞬间石化，哥……你是真累…
8.LZ男，。。。割几割几。。。闲着没事用手摸了摸同桌的小jj，正好被老师看见。让我两罚站，老师过来后问我同桌，你是被迫的还是自愿的？我嘞个去，老师，你赢了！
9.本人有一吊丝同学，数次约女神去汤姆熊玩游戏后终于得手，兴奋足足一周，当天为壮胆还拉其基友作陪。数小时后鼻青脸肿而回，问之，答曰由于和基友射僵尸过于兴起连女神何时离开都没发现，互相责怪后互殴败北。。这人生。。
10.刚刚大学开学 住校 人员不熟悉 很少的话 做了自我介绍后灰溜溜的睡了 谁知睡不着 对着窗外看！ 谁知旁边床哥们大喊“”快看快看，那学姐换衣服不拉窗帘！” 瞬间寝室暴乱 话题由此展开 气氛不在沉重
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
