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1.今天坐地铁,一个小伙坐我对面,这时一个乞讨的老头一路行乞过来。当走到小伙面前时就停下了(估计是小伙多看了他两眼)他就现在小伙年前头一直点点,好一会了小伙估计烦了,突然大声说到:前天昨天我都给了今天还找我要,欠你的啊。老头弱弱的来了句,早点说啊,人多没认出来—_—。

2.我去年在呼和浩特的冬天在一个公交车上,在农业大学的时候上来俩个美女,一个美女上了车就说:”还是车里暖和啊,和被窝里一样” 另一个美女接过话茬说”你被窝里有这么多人啊” 全车都笑了!!,,

3.养过螳螂。。被后来养的猫吃掉了。。养过狗。。结果猫离家出走了。。我现在喂鱼,结果猫回来了。。。

4.同学到西安玩,火车刚好经过我们县。忘了问哪个车厢,一直过隧道,手机没信号。遂买了同一车次的,楼主买的票是8车厢,一直找到2车厢,终于看见二货跟他媳妇的背影,上前一声大吼,然后~~你们懂得。楼主悲催的继续找,终于在一车厢尽头找到了他们,看了又看他们,憋了句,真的是你们啊。

5.丹麦女王为什么选择坐高铁去南京?
答:如果坐普通车的话,女王刚坐下就会有人推小车过来:啤酒碗面矿泉水了,香烟瓜子八宝粥,让一下。。。身份证保护套,防磁的。。。会累死翻译的
女王也会有两个疑问:这是啥?这他妹的又是啥?

6.大三那年寝室某人位置上的一个西红柿掉在地上了,直到毕业那天,西红柿君!都没有被捡起来,临走那天我还和早已变成柿饼的它道别来着……

7.今天在大学校园里散步,遇到一个男生在狂奔,貌似那男生遇到他的同学,问了一句,你跑成这样干啥呢?飞奔男边跑边喘边回:我迟到了。然后那俩同学默默嘀咕:都迟到了还跑这么快有毛用?

8.一哥们的科长指挥别人倒车__倒,倒,倒,倒倒倒倒倒倒倒倒……倒不得拉~撞上了

9.开车没系安全带急刹车然后鼻子撞方向盘上了,鼻骨不幸骨折了。。。

10.前两天去练车,一个姑娘校友,一起练车,可能是第一次来,有点呆~教练带着练了两次倒车入库,下车问她:方向盘左打一圈半,回半圈,还差几圈车轮回正?姑娘掰手指头认真思考…回:3圈!
11.刷了这么年牙刷,才知道中华不是国产的,黑人牙膏居然是国产的?

12.本人女子。老公骑电动车带我……以上为背景……
我:我想尿了。
他:前面有个电线杆。
我:母狗不用电线杆。
有时候我自己都为我的智商着急!

13.坐公交叁加同学聚会,途中见一豪车发生车祸停在路边。
赶到后同学们嘘寒问暖,问我车放哪儿了?为了不掉价儿,我记起车祸那辆,随口说车在xx路路上出了点事故,我打的过来的。
接着在饭店看电视新闻,报道说今天一辆Xx车在XX路发生车祸,车主当场死亡。几个和我一起聊天的逗逼脸变色、腿颤抖,争先恐后惨叫着狂奔出房间! 靠!我这是吹爆了啊!走把帐结了,卧槽

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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