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2.我一同事，在自己的工具柜外面和自己的安全帽上喷了三个字，王九蛋，从此以后大家都叫他王九蛋，一天某领导也呼曰：王九蛋过来，他屁颠屁颠的跑过来，对这领导一笑说：哥你找我啥事，领导想了想脸顿时绿了~~绿了~ 从此王九蛋见谁都叫哥~~
3.留着还有用，绝对不能歌歌歌。。。。。。刚刚一同事小姑娘，聊起来这世界末日这事了，她说，得在21号前回家好好祭奠一下老祖宗，让他们在那边先把房子买上，省得过几天一下子过去这么多人，房价又死贵死贵的买不起了。我次奥。。聪明啊
4.网上有北京地铁好几个女的被划脸的，希望糗友防止类似事情发生。我一朋友看了这消息后，转给他的女神，希望她小心，结果他的女神回复消息让他半天没说话:我都开车上班的
5.五岁女儿与爸爸的一段对话。 “爸爸！” “干嘛？” “等我长大了你不要老啊” “为什么？” “等我长大了好嫁给你呀” "是吗？你很爱爸爸吧！” “如果嫁给你，就可以像妈妈一样在家里什么都不做了，好舒服啊！” 爸爸“。。。。。。”
6.快考试了，老师迟迟不给划重点···割了给谁用？ ··· 今天老师终于在我们的苦苦哀求后划重点了··· 他没直说会考哪里，只说课本哪一段很漂亮啊、哪一道题很漂亮啊、哪一句话好漂亮啊 ····全专业在欢喜的气氛中划着···· 有一位同学问老师：真有这么漂亮吗？老师您别哄我们呀！ 老师回答：当然是漂亮的，等你们考完了，你们不但觉得那些内容漂亮，你还会觉得我这个五十多岁的老头都漂亮的不得了呀···
7.昨天吃货老婆打电话说买了好吃的饼干，要给我带来，昨天下雪没来成…背景哥啊哥…然后，刚才老婆发短信！！！！“老公我错了…那饼干我想着是再吃几个给你凑个整，就给你留了十个，然后我觉得八个比较好就吃了俩，然后觉得五个也挺好，又吃了三，然后我觉得给你留两个也行，让你尝尝，然后我又吃了仨，可是最后我又发现两个实在拿不出手…然后…我就全吃了…然后就没了！！！我错了…”
8.一句话不割、、、淘宝买辆自行车，，，，邮递员骑着给我送来了！！！
9.如果2012年12月21日世界没有毁灭…我几乎可以预见到2013年9月来临的婴儿出生大浪潮…
10.刚才给妈妈打电话，我说＂妈啊，要是世界末日真来了我就不复习英语了，考试前一天末日。＂结果我妈来一句：那可不行，你到另一个世界了也得做一个有知识的人！
1.朋友儿子来我家玩，看到了我的无线鼠标和键盘，好奇的问我怎么没有线，我顺口一说，用着麻烦给剪了，。。。。。下午朋友打电话训了我半个小时
2.有一次逛公园，闲的没事就让公园里的内种理发很便宜的老大爷帮我剪。剪到一半，城管来了，老大爷跑了，我顶着剪了一半儿的脑袋在那坐着，城管围着我乐，说您这个打算怎么办啊？
3.给我兄弟发短信 背景 我: 干嘛呢？ 他: 我媳妇大姨妈来了，给她吸血呢。 我:⊙﹏⊙ 他:洗鞋呢。。。。。
4.爸妈参加保健讲座，听完发礼品，俩口子算一份，单独去的一人一份，，，，到爸妈这给一保键枕，老妈看挺好就想再要一个，对发礼品的说，我和他不是两口子，你看我们都不一个姓，发礼品的听了有道理，就又给了一个，，，
5.LZ最近刚交了一个女朋友，不到2周....割了不让用的....自从我妈知道以后，天天晚上打电话“查房”，问我在何处，要我注意分寸，别做什么事云云，你们懂的...当然这不是GC，GC是那天碰到女友父亲，叔叔带我们俩去吃饭，吃饭后喝点酒把我拉厕所说，小伙子要努力，早点把我闺女拿下云云...我混乱了，这是两家抱错孩子了吧...
6.跟老公吵架，哭的嗷嗷的。。。。。。。。那没良心的，自己看零几年的那部神探狄仁杰，也不哄我。气死了，我一边哽咽一边说，狄春是假的，如燕是卧底，丘静也是坏的，王孝杰没反，大憨其实是赵文惠。。说完又趴被子上哭了。。让你看，看个毛。
7.一句话不唱歌。。。。。今天学校需要填家庭情况调查表，我一室友添了母亲的电话后，赫然在父亲电话一栏上填着：有事找我妈！
8.昨天梦到世界末日。。。割割割。。外星人侵略地球。我们躲在一辆坦克车后面。还是被发现。。老公为了掩护我。身中数枪。鲜血淋淋。血滴在身上。冰冷刺骨。。我默默的想。oh my hero。以后会好好对你的。一觉醒来。。发现冷的原因居然是这货把被子卷走了。次奥。瞬间幻想破灭。。
9.带一客户妹子去韩国做整形手术，机场到首尔三个小时车程，公司翻译沿途介绍景观，随口问妹子有没有想去旅游的地方手术完了我们可以带她去，妹子想了想说想去平壤玩。翻译一脸黑线，说：我不敢....
10.哥们结婚，新娘不熟，割，必须割吗？一对新人来敬酒，我突然发现新娘左嘴角粘着一大坨芝麻糖之类的东西。作为孕期的楼主义无反顾的攒人品，我凝视着她轻抚了一下嘴角，冰雪聪明的新娘马上意识到了，连忙擦了一下右嘴角。那一刹那，我发现她的嘴角居然是一颗痦子，机智的我马上报以赞许的微笑，无声的做出口型：“干净了！”
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
