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1.一女同学和我14年同班同学，幼儿园2年，小学6年，初中3年，高中3年。大学毕业两年了，一直给我介绍她闺蜜，介绍了三个都没感觉！昨晚上，又给介绍，约好在肯德基看看！我们俩做肯德基等了两个小时，她闺蜜打电话说家里有事，来不了了。于是，我们俩吃完了，逛了会，看了场电影……出去的时候不自觉的牵了手，又把她送回家，在她家楼下，我忍不住……亲了她！！然后她脸红的上了楼……是不是她把她自己介绍给我了？？？我……我……
2.今天七夕，早上上班的时候，突然有快递进来送花，收花人是我们的一个男同事！--------割-------我们都不怀好意的想他是基情四射还是有女女倒追，只见他拿着花迷茫了一阵，突然一拍头说：“艹，收件人和寄件人填反了！”
3.今天情人节，跟老婆认识两年从没买过花，也没正经过过情人节，马上就要结婚了，想在结婚前给她过个情人节。。。。。。。。。。。。。。割下不知对不对。。。。。。。。。。今天下班以下班早为名，约她出来逛街。故意晚到，从背后抄近自认为很帅气的把花送到她手里，原本想到的桥段很多，比如感动流泪呀、欣喜若狂等等，万万没想到，那货愣了一阵然后作害羞状，曰：“都到手了还让大哥这么破费真不好意思”。。。。。。。
4.刚看一新闻，90后富二代为阻止父亲娶92年的后妈，趁父亲不在，把后妈给上了，阻止一段孽缘……果然是干大事的……
5.最近话费用太多，想换个套餐，就去移动大厅，和前台说：我男朋友一个月只给我30块钱交话费，请问有没有便宜的给我换换啊，她看了我一下，淡定的说，小姐，你要换的是男朋友。。。
6.2001年，金正恩在瑞士伯尔尼一所国际学校就读时，喜欢上了一个中国女留学生。那年七夕，金正恩用英文给这个中国女孩不客气地发了条短信：3 words, 8 letters, say it and I will marry you. ——几分钟后，金正恩收到了一条回复：si pang zi？
7.一句话不割了，舍友昨晚寂寞了去见网友，是一少妇，结果见了少妇一家三口。
1.今天吃饭的时候哈尔滨桥梁事故依然是热门话题，某记者朋友说起当年采访四川彩虹桥事故，当事负责人满腹委屈：＂被领导催促要提前完工，我说肯定不行，领导说给你的日子不能通车就抓你坐牢。现在桥是提前通车了，可是我还是坐牢了。＂
2.。。。。那哥们有天拿了张他初中毕业照给我看，指着一个女生说她就是个流氓，老抓男生的jj。我就问他那你被她抓过么。他仰面四十五度哀怨道 她是我同桌。。
3.早上坐车，前座是个三四岁小萝莉……萝莉不能割……路过妇婴医院的时候萝莉神秘兮兮地回头问我；“你知道这里是干嘛的么？”我说干嘛的啊，萝莉特神气:“是生宝宝的地方呗，我肚子里还有一个小白兔呢”gc是……我问那你怎么不生啊，萝莉羞涩的低头含笑“我不还没结婚呢嘛～”
4.刚毕业的时候,去西安旅游。当时没什么钱。下火车后,有个拉客的中年女人,帮我找了家便宜旅社。交房费住下后。。。女子问要小姐吗?我比较单纯,就拒绝了。我说我是学生。。女子说:没关系,我帮你找个学生。。。
5.k299厦门到广州东。居然晚点四十二分钟。原因是火车底盘被偷了。这是怎样搞笑的晚点原因→_→
6.上学时候每年暑假都要放《西游记》………割了………然后开学后发教科书的时候，我们排队去领，二逼班长都会喊到“金刚经1000卷……菩萨经125卷………”
7.儿子３岁时住乡下，一次邻居大叔在门口打电话，一手拿个烧饼。儿子刚嘴巴够的着他垂下手里的烧饼，于是邻居大叔的电话打完了，发现拿烧饼手里的烧饼，就剩下手里捏着的部分了，大叔的早饭啊，，，，你能想像他垫着脚直接张着嘴吃别人手里的烧饼的情景吗？儿子小胖子吃货啊，从此在村里成名了，，，
8.有次去看马戏团,门口有个小哥手里拿了一条蟒蛇盘在脖子上！我买票要进去的时候，小哥突然把蛇头放到面前。我被吓到了,当时出于本能,我居然给了那条蛇一巴掌.那条蛇显然被激怒了,一下张开了大嘴！那小哥发应很快,一把把蛇摔在了地上！～我想小哥以后都不会再吓人了！
9.高中…………校门口有一家买饼的挺好吃，天天和同学买，结果，那家买饼的半个月都没出摊，同学很失望的说，这学没法上了，唯一的盼头都没啦！
10.本人女23年来从未化过妆…今天，被爹坑了… …割你妹… 早上心血来潮闲的蛋疼的，决定化个眼线…刚化好，听到敲门就去开…我爸看我愣了下，半天没吱声… 我就问:我化的如何？ 半晌，我爸说:我以为你奶哭着回来了呢… …
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
