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Estoy un poco harto y creo que vosotros también de ver redacciones que son unos pasteles aburridos, quizas buenos o no, pero dramones sobre lo mal que nos va,lo cabrones que son los congresistas y presidentes(Los de aquí o los de fuera ya ves tú
, que si se me ha quemado la cosecha, anda y vete a llorar a la puerta del sol para que te saque el telediario.
En esta sección no se admite llantos, a no se que acompañen a un descojone total claro está.
Aqui ire colocando chistes que vea que molan, me parezcan curiosos, graciosos o terriblemente malos. Me podeis mandar vuestros chistes y los iré publicando en la subsección de la tira cómica como "Chistes de importación" donde podré vuestro nombre y calificaré bajo mi megaultrasuper gusto y objetividad, ¡Animaos a enviarme chistes que colgar joder!
Sin más dilaciones tras una breve presentación de la sección os dejo con la tira cómica.
"Cosecha propia"
Altos
Esto era un tío tan alto, que tropezaba el jueves y caía el domingo.
Esto era un tío tan tan alto que se comía un yogur y le llegaba caducado al estomago.
Jorobados/chepudos
En esto que viene un calvo andando por la acera y se encuentra a un jorobado, coge y le suelta:
-¡Coño! ¿Qué llevas en la mochila?
Y le contesta el jorobado:
-¡Tu peine cabrón!
Verde
Esto van dos prostitutas (Putas para los de la Logse) en un ascensor, total que una pone cara perruna y empieza a olfatear y dice:
-Ui, aqui huele a pito.
Contesta la otra:
-Perdon e eructado
Pues no que están dos náufragos en una isla medio muertos de hambre cuando uno decide cortarse el miembro para comerselo, cuando su compañero le detiene y le dice:
-Juan, piensa en tu mujer.
-¿Ahora para qué voy a pensar en mi mujer?
El otro le responde:
-Joder porque si piensas en tu mujer tenemos para los dos.
Chistes malos/ Para fiestas y borracheras
Esto va un tío que se equivoca de numero de teléfono y dice:
-¿Alo Alo?
Le responden:
-¿Ali Ali?
-Oye que estoy hablando en serio
Y dicen al otro lado del telefono:
-¡Toma y yo en Sirio!
[ALGO MALO MALO XD]
Dice:
-¡Mama mama! En el colegio me llaman envidioso.
-¡Pues una mierda para ellos hijo!
-¡Jó! ¿y para mí qué?
Dice(II):
-¡Mama mama! En el colegio me llaman peludo
-¡Pepe! El perro está hablando!
Dice(III):
-Mama mama, en el colegio me llaman dentudo
-Tranquilo hijo no pasa nada, pero súbete a una silla que me rayas el suelo.
"Chistes de importación"
[Aquí aparecerás tú si me envías chistes]
Tengo muchos más pero quiero saber los vuestros, enviádmelos y saldréis en la tira cómica.
Has leído un articulo de Soliord, si hubiera pulitzer en e-sim, ¡Joder que si los ganaría!
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τσdσs lσs Dεяεcнσs яεsεяvαdσs a
Soliord .cσρчяιgнτ ©2011
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
