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群里一在日本的哥们说，他朋友邀请他去拍摄一部a片。 主要内容是夫妻伦理，妻子的演员是一位漂亮女优，哥们在片中扮演丈夫。 哥们欣然同意了，直到他看到剧本才发现，内容是一位丈夫喝醉后，回家倒头便睡，而美貌的妻子和司机在床的右半边偷情。 整部戏中，丈夫一动不动连头都没有回过。。。
大学的时候班里有个哥们，不叫自己的JJ小弟弟，叫大哥。 我们就奇怪啊，偷偷看他上厕所也没见他那儿尺寸惊人啊，难道是虚假广告？ 我于是去问他原因，他回答：“我出生时胎位不正，脚朝下。我大哥比我先出来的。”
女A：我的前男友都够一桌麻将了！
女B：才四个你特么也好意思说？
女A：我说的是牌！
跟老婆一起洗完澡，我躺在床上，老婆在床边收拾东西。 看着老婆的样子很撩人，就学着欧美爱情动作片里的画面躺在床上召唤老婆说“come on baby”。 老婆听完立刻放下手中的东西，往床上一躺说“come in baby”。
每次女神在QQ上发“哦”给我，我都会大义凛然地回复她——“否！”
几个血气方刚的男青年，许久没有X生活，迫不及待地找了个小姐去宾馆打炮， 为首的那个青年三两把扯开裤子饥渴难耐地就扑上去了，这时候手机响了， 他立马刹住了车，“你们好好玩吧，我去接我妈的电话。” “喂，儿子啊，你在干吗？” “嗯，妈。”
今天上班，一女同事问我，她养的小乌龟喜欢拿头撞墙是怎么了？ 我随口回了句，可能它头痛吧！百度查查。 一分钟后，只见妹子在百度上输入：龟头痛怎么办？
今天女神对我说：“我们在一起吧。” 我感到惊喜，有有些疑惑：“为什么选择我？不是有个土豪在追你么，为什么选择我？” “听说……你喜欢孩子。”
某人跟自己的哥们得意洋洋的说道：“哈哈哈哈，只要别屁股对着别人，捡肥皂什么的完全没问题啊！不信晚上我们去澡堂试试看！”
晚上洗澡，一块肥皂丢在了他的面前。
他一个潇洒的转身，面朝着对方蹲了下去捡肥皂。
“卧槽牛逼啊！”他哥们喊道。
他说：“唔，唔唔……”
一朋友好不容易通过论坛认识了一对恋人同意3p，SO精心打扮一番急匆匆前去赴约。 经过一夜，第二天只看他一瘸一拐的回来就趴床上。 众人皆笑他肾虚。 然后他内牛满面的说道：tmd，他们两个是BL
今天晚上回家比较晚，路上碰一女的问我：“先生要不要服务？” 我说：“没钱！” 那女的急忙说：“先生很便宜的。” 我说：“我有女朋友了！” 那女的郁闷骂了句：“现在女孩真随便，搞的老娘生意都不好做了！！！！”
今天和二货媳妇儿煲电话粥。 11点多了她突然说到：皇上，臣妾身体不适，先行告退了。 今晚翻别的妃子牌子吧。 我一听乐了。 回到：朕就你一个爱妃啊二货媳妇儿淡淡的冒出一句：不是还有左贵人和右贵人嘛，他们可是陪了皇上20多年了。
我一哥们某天逃课在宿舍睡觉，其下铺童鞋带女友回来嘿咻， 因为是夏天都有蚊帐，宿舍挺安静的，没发现上铺有人。 干柴烈火、地动山摇… 哥们被惊醒了，为了避免尴尬，他不敢出声——熬。 事毕， 女：我要尿尿 男：不能去厕所，那有脸盆随便拿个尿吧。 上铺哥们听了顿时菊花一紧，实在忍不住了，蚊帐一撩： 放下！那是我的盆！
前段时间心血来潮问男友：“亲爱的，你爱我吗？”
男友回:“爱你妹！”
我想：“是了，我怎么问这么俗的问题。”
昨天我妹跟男友一起来跟我说：“姐，你就成全我们吧！”
老公在厨房杀鸡，待客的妻子喊：鱼煎好了吗？ 老公不耐问：杀鸡煎鱼先干哪个？ 妻喊：先煎后杀！ 客大惊，妻改口：煎完再杀！
朋友刚才问我：“名字叫“轩”的人ta妈妈是不是在车震之后怀孕的？”
他一天脑子里都在想些什么！！
跟老婆吵架了，各种哄无果，最后打电话也不接了， 借兄弟电话打给她，还没开口她就说："老地方xx宾馆，快点来，"就挂了。 老婆终于原谅我了吗? 但我不知道这宾馆在那呀?
从前有一个人把密保卡纹在老婆的屁股上，
有一天，号被盗了，
他想了很久.....
出大事了...
小雷偷偷溜进小树林，准备做些自娱自乐的事情。 忽然金光一闪，一个穿着奇装异服的男子出现在眼前。 看到小雷提着裤腰带被惊呆的样子，男子安慰他说： “别害怕，我是来自未来的。” “那我就放心了，”小雷松了一口气，“我也是来自慰来的。”
双十一过去十五天了，我和女友认识刚好整整一年了！
在此我要真诚的给商家追加个好评：“
女友向我撒娇：“亲爱的，我是你的什么啊？”
我放下手中的书，深情地对她说：“你是我的世界啊。”
看见她笑，我悄悄用手挡住了书的封皮——《世界是平的》。
無聊看qq，無意翻到一個女孩，她qq心情留言:找一个能毁了你口红而不是毁了你睫毛膏的人
顿时觉得好内涵啊 ！
听说这是现在最流行的婚姻方式：你要是嫁人就先嫁给别人然后你再嫁给我，带着他的存款带着他的房产开着他的宝马来。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
