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当然
一人养了只只会说“当然”的鹦鹉,于是他决定把它卖掉。“你的
鹦鹉多少钱?”买主问。“1000元。”卖主答。“怎么这么贵?”
“我的鹦鹉很聪明!”“鹦鹉,你聪明吗?”买主问。“当然。”
买主于是买下了鹦鹉。等他发现这只鹦鹉只会说“当然”后,他很
生气地说:“只有傻瓜才会花1000块买这样的鹦鹉。”“当然!”
鹦鹉回答。

收音机里的英语
一个非洲酋长到伦敦访问,一群记者在机场截住了他."早上好,酋长
先生",其中一人问道:"你的路途舒适吗?"酋长发出了一连串刺耳的
声音--哄、哼、啊、吱、嘶嘶,然后用纯正的英语说道:“是的,
非常地舒适。”“那么,您准备在这里待多久?”他发出了同样的
一连串噪音,然后答:“大约三星期,我想。”“酋长,告诉我,
你是在哪学的这样流利的英语?”迷惑不解的记者问。又是一阵哄
、吭、啊、吱、嘶嘶声,酋长说:“从短波收音机里。”

朋友
某人在酒馆里要了两杯酒,喝完一杯又一杯。侍者说:“你真是好
酒量。”那人回答:“一杯是我的,另一杯代表我病重的朋友。”
第二天,这人又来到酒馆,这次只要了一杯酒。侍者问:“你的朋
友...死了。”那人回答:“不!是我戒酒了。”

关于牧师
有一个牧师在一个村落任职.而那个村落是靠捕渔为生的.所以村中
的男人常不在.那麽村中的女人们就很寂寞罗.村中的女人几乎都有
红杏出墙.....当然她们的丈夫都不知道.而那些女人在偷情後都会
找牧师告解.牧师听多了.也有点烦了於是告诉那些找他告解的女人
说,以後偷情这两个字改成跌倒.只要讲跌倒,我就知道了.於是就这
样过了几个月,这个牧师要调到别的地方去了,他担心新来的牧师不
了解这个不成文规定,於是在走之前特别去和村长说了.交代村长一
定要告诉新牧师"跌倒"的意思.新牧师来了之後,村长忘了去和他说
这件事.当村中的女人每次去和牧师告解说她今又跌倒了,牧师都告
诉她们:跌倒了再爬起来不就好了可是,因为常常这样..新牧师觉得
这样不是办法.於是去找村长.把这件事说了..并建议村长应改进村
中的道路建设.这样就不会有人常跌倒了,村长听了,哈哈大笑.新牧
师不明所以,就说"你笑什麽,村长夫人这礼拜就跌倒三次了"

实惠
在太太的生日宴会上,丈夫当众把一颗金光闪烁的宝石赠给了他的
夫人。一位朋友对说:"瞧您夫人多高兴啊!如果你送她一辆奔驰
汽车,不是更实惠吗?""我也曾这么想过,"这位丈夫摊开手悄
声对朋友说:"可惜这种轿车目前还没有假的!"

照顾有限
一位英国绅士与一位法国女士同乘一个包箱。法国女人想引诱这个
英国绅士,于是她脱衣躺下后就开始抱怨太冷,英国先生把自己的
被子给了她,但这个女人仍不停地说冷。"我还能怎么帮助你呢"
沮丧的英国绅士问。"我小的时候,妈妈总是用自己的身体给我取
暖。"法国女人说。"请原谅,女士,我可不想在半夜跳下火车去
找你妈妈。"英国绅士道。

谁的爸爸
我的孩子们还很小的时候,一天,电话铃响了,大女儿拿起话筒,
“喂,爸爸。”她说着就对着话筒讲她今天过得怎么样。然后把听
筒递给她的弟弟妹妹,我丈夫每次打电话回家孩子们都是这样。轮
到我讲时,我接过话筒说:“嗨,亲爱的。”“谢天谢地,女士”
电话线那边的声音应道,“我只是打电话通知您,您订购的墙纸已
经到货了。”

吹牛
一天,两个不同国家的人在吹牛。一个说:“我们国家的桥很高,
人从上面跳下去,十分钟才跌落入水摔死。”另一个说:“那算不
了什么。在我们国家,人从桥上跳下,没到底就饿死了。”

问路
“请问,去警察局怎么走?”
“到对面的肉店不付钱就拿几块牛排,10分钟后你便到警察局了。”

哭泣的丈夫
三个人死后进入天国。当他们到达时,圣彼得问第一个人,生前是
否忠于他的妻子。此人承认做错了两件事。圣彼得说他只能得到一
辆小型轿车。然后圣彼得又问第二个人是否忠于自己的妻子,第二
个人承认做错了一件事。圣彼得说他可以得到一辆中型轿车。第三
个告诉圣彼得,直到死他都一直忠于妻子。圣彼得夸奖了他并赠给
一辆豪华轿车。一星期后,三个人开着车外出,碰上红灯,他们全
停下来。坐在小型车和中型车的两个人看到豪华车上的人正在哭,
于是就问他:“你有了那么好的车,还哭什么?”那人说:“我刚
看到我妻子,她只踩了一辆小滑轮车。”

酒鬼的狗
“你家的狗怎么走起路来总是七歪八扭的?”“可怜的小东西,我
丈夫从酒店里回家的时候,它总是跟着,跟惯了。”

超速
警察:我们这儿规定行车不得超过每小时50公里,你刚才驾车超过
了这个速度,请留下姓名和地址。
司机:可我还没开一小时呢!

好再来
女主人对女佣说:”今晚有客人来家里吃饭。看你能做些什么特别
的菜。“女佣:”好,太太。你是要客人们吃了还想再来呢,还是
永远不想再来?“

招婿
国王要选驸马,方法是被选者参加一次比赛,胜者可娶到他的女儿
并可获得一笔可观的财富。
比赛那天,所有应召的未婚男子被带到一个放满鳄鱼的水池旁。国
王先让人把一头狮子放到水池中,不一会儿,狮子被鳄鱼吃得只剩
下几块骨头。国王此时高声说道:"我会把女儿嫁给第一个游过去
的人!"
突然,"啪"的一声,一个青年跳进水池,他以飞快的速度游到了
对岸。当他爬上来后,国王非常高兴地走过去,恭贺他说:"好样
的,你一定很想娶我的女儿。"
"是的!"这个脸色苍白但幸运的青年气急败坏地说:"我现在要
知道的是,刚才是哪个混蛋把我推下去的!"

误会
  一名欧洲游客在东京的商店里寻找运动衣的拉链。他用手势向一位女售货员比划
好一阵子。终于,女售货员明白了,拿出了一把用于剖腹的剑放到柜台上。

烟瘾太大
  在商店里,一位顾客对老板说:“我怀疑你的这架钢琴是翻新的二手货!你瞧,
这象牙琴键都发黑了。”“天地良心,绝无此事。”老板解释道:“这完全是由于那
头大象抽烟过多造成的。”

傻瓜
  约翰叔叔来住了几天,临走时,掏出100先令对侄子汤姆说:”这钱你留着零花
吧。记住,钱要收好,丢了可就白送人了。”汤姆激动地说:知道,傻瓜才把钱白送
人呢!”约翰叔叔听后想想说:“你说的有道理,我看这钱你还是不要的好。”

啤酒
  一位古板的老妇人有生以来第一次品尝啤酒。呷一口后,她疑惑地抬起头。“怪
哉!”她小声地咕哝,“味道就跟我丈夫二十年来喝的药一模一样。”

领带的问题
  某人在沙漠中行进了大半天,口渴得直冒烟。在他快要走出沙漠时,遇到了一位
推销员。后者劝他买一条领带。他说:“你行行好吧,我渴得连衬衣都想撕开了,还
买什么领带!”推销员讨了个没趣便走开了。这个可怜人总算在沙漠边上的一个小镇
上找到了一家酒吧,他急不可待地要冲进去。于是他对门口的侍者说:“快给我点什
么喝的吧!”他的喉咙都快枯哑了。“对不起,先生,不打领带者是不许进入的。”
这个侍者很有礼貌地拒绝了他的要求。“什么!......”

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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