Article
“帅哥，有充电宝吗？” 我摊开空空的双手对她说：“你瞎吗？”
她说：“对不起，丑八怪，有充电宝吗？”
2、有一天，包拯对公孙策说：“还好有你，我断案才能如此得心应手。”
公孙策说：“多谢大人夸奖，嘿嘿！”
包拯答曰：“说正事呢！别叫我小名！”
4、一哥们儿和一网友聊天，人家问他：“做什么工作的？”
他说：“在外企干过，也在网络公司干过策划与执行。”
网友问：“你在哪个外企干的？做的什么工作？”
他说：“在肯德基刷过碗。”网友问：“那你在网络公司呢？”
他说：“主要就是写条说说，发表一下。”
5、朋友一脸自豪地对我讲：“造不，哥们昨天在游泳馆泡了一个美女，
身材超火辣的！”我咽了咽口水，问：“怎么做到的？”
他睿智一笑，答道：“她说最近皮肤有点干，我二话不说一脚把她踹水里了，
然后跳下去死死按着她的头，泡的那叫一个久！”
7、在一个餐厅里，一位身穿西装的男士点餐，服务员上前接待。
这位先生说：“鲍鱼、烧花鸭、蟹肉羹、黄金大龙虾、黄蒸羊羔儿……”
说了一大段，服务员也记得手忙脚乱的。
这时，先生说：
“这些我通通不要，我只要一碗青菜和一碗饭。”服务员一脸黑线。
3、儿子报名读书时的事，班主任是一20出头的美女。
儿子：麻麻这是我的老师吗？
老婆：是的，这是你的班主任。
儿子对着老师说：哇！老师你这么漂亮，
等我长大了要是老师还没有男朋友我就娶你做老婆。
于是儿子自然成了老师最喜欢的学生。
6、昨天和一朋友在他家喝酒。 我说你老婆不是不让你喝酒吗？
他说:我才不怕她呢！我在家就跟老虎一样！
我顿时投来崇拜的目光。 不一会他老婆从外面回来了，
谁知这货突然大叫:快！武松回来了！把酒藏起来！我…
8、刚才去幼儿园接孩子，听见一小萝莉在教我女儿唱梁静茹的那首《宁夏》，
歌词是：宁静的夏天，一个人在吃大便，手指头滴一点，吃一口说好甜....
我拿着给女儿买的冰激凌，惊呆了！然后冰激凌溶化，
滴了一滴在手上我，我条件反射的举起手指舔了一舔。
9、我们是新生，班主任也是刚来的大学毕业生。
开学第一天，校长走到我们班门口，班里特别乱，就一脚踹开门，
把一个最活跃的抽了俩耳光，然后让他出去站着，问我们班主任呢。
我想说，刚才被你叫出去的那个就是。
11、嫂子：一会去相亲？
妹妹：是啊，心里没底，不知道本人跟照片差距大不大。
嫂子：没事，带着你侄子一起去吧！
妹妹：不好吧。
嫂子：有啥不好，相中了你就说那是你侄子，相不中就让你侄子喊你妈。
10、开玩笑的时候对女友说：你笨死了，知道世界上哪种人会夸你聪明么？
女友呆呆的说：比我笨的人呗！
我一激动说：你太聪明了！
12、语文课上，老师让大家说出“一……一……”格式的成语，比如“一心一意”。画家的儿子说：“一笔一画。”船长的儿子说：“一波未平，一波又起。”房地产商的儿子说：“一室一厅，一厨一卫。”忽然一个童稚而又响亮的声音传来，“一元一个，全部一元，统统一元，一元钱你买不了一包烟……”
13、放学回家，一对双胞胎姐妹兴奋地告诉爸爸：“老爸，今天我们全班同学要选一位最帅的爸爸，结果你当选了。”
爸爸很高兴，问怎么会当选的。
双胞胎姐妹说：“同学们都投自己老爸的票，我们有两票，所以你当选了！ ”
16、男人不是喜欢素颜的女孩，是喜欢素颜也漂亮的女孩；不是女人哭解决不了问题，是丑女哭才解决不了问题；男人不是不喜欢女汉子，是喜欢漂亮的女汉子。。。
14、午时三刻，烈日当空，监斩官下令：“斩！ ”
突然，死囚一阵哈哈大笑，监斩官不明，问：“你为何发笑？”
死囚迟疑片刻，道：“专家果然没有说错，每天笑一笑可以延长寿命5秒！ ”
15、一个美女无意中做了一件伤害众人的事，结果招致杀身之祸。
辩护者说：她毕竟年龄还小，不知者不为罪，应该原谅。
受害者说：不杀不足以平民愤，替美女辩护的人不怀好意！
经过权衡轻重，法官最后说：判处死刑，立即枪毙！
受害者说：慢！一枪把她打死太便宜她了，应该千刀万剐！
法官认为反正她也是死，于是就把她交给受害者任其处置。
受害者满腔怒火，泪如雨下，他举起一把大刀就架在了美女的脖子上，然后愤怒地对她说：只要你肯嫁给我，我不会杀你的。
Previous article:
8.16 (11 years ago)
Next article:
8.18 (11 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
