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Uporedio sam troškove naše svadbe i vrednost tvog miraza!
I? - upitno će Fata.
Ispadne da sam se oženio tobom iz ljubavi!
Pričaju telefonom Mujo i Suljo:
- Gdje si ti Suljo?
- Ma, evo me u Norveškoj.
- A gde je to?
- Pa, kako da ti objasnim. Imaš li globus?
- Imam.
- E, to ti je odmah ispod šrafa.
Pita Fata Hasu
-Jel, odakle si ti ?
Haso: Ajd pogodi.
-Daj prvo slovo!
Haso:"I"
-Hajde i drugo molim te !!!
Haso:"Š"
Predajem se, ne znam !
Haso : IŠČAPLJINE !
Mujo drugi put pao na ispitu za prekvalifikaciju.
Izlazi iz ucionice, a Haso ga na hodniku pita:
- Kako je bilo?
Mujo odgovara:
- A šta misliš? Ista komisija, ista pitanja!
Ulazi Mujo u apoteku i kaže:
Daj mi aspirin, paracetamol, kafetin..
i ti uzmi šta piješ, pa naplati!
Učiteljica prekorava malog Ivicu:
- Ti si sramota ovog razreda.
Ja sam u tvom uzrastu već znala da čitam, pisem i računam,
a ti nisi nizašta sposoban.
- Vidi se da ste vi imali dobru učiteljicu.
Dolazi žena kod doktora:
- Doktore, koliko bih ja trebala biti visoka za svoju težinu?
- 4 metra, gospođo.
- Eto, ja svima govorim da sam niska,
a oni navalili debela, pa debela!
Ko je najveći papučar u selu? .
Onaj koji potroši više šljiva na pekmez nego na rakiju!!!
Primetio sam da je svest građana o vakcinaciji porasla.
Sinoć sam video jednog u ulazu, sam se vakcinise.
Policaji so se za konec tedna odpravljali na taborjenje.
Da bi jim čas hitreje minil in se ne bi dolgočasili, so se dogovorili, da vsak s seboj prinese kakšno družabno igro.
Ko so v kampu postavili šotor, se je eden oglasil. "No, kakšne družabne igre ste prinesli s seboj? Jaz sem prinesel pikado." "Jaz sem s seboj vzel šah," je rekel drugi. "Jaz pa monopoli," se je oglasil tretji. "Jaz pa Always vložke," je ponosno povedal četrti. "Always vložke?" so se začudili ostali trije policisti. "Zakaj pa boš potreboval vložke?" "Enkratni so. Na televiziji sem videl reklamo, da z Always vložki lahko delaš kar hočeš: plavaš, jahaš, tečeš, igraš tenis ... !"
En starejši gospod opazi, da ima ena najstnica odprto zadrgo na hlačah in ji diskretno reče:
" Gospodična, štacuno imate odprto. "
Najstnica mu odvrne:
" Gospod, za vas je to » slaščičarna », ne pa štacuna. "
LETO 2059.
Novice iz sveta:
- robot na Marsu je odkril prvo črno gradnjo in poslal zahtevo v vesoljski center v Houston, za legalizacijo objekta.
- 3D tiskalnik je natisnil prvo turistično naselje na obali Majorke....
- Japonci so naredili prve hišne aparate na svetlobo.
- Nemci so izdelali novega Golfa 24, ki vozi na zrak.
Novice iz Slovenije:
- izplačana je zadnja pokojnina.
- umrl je zadnji borec NOB.
- zmanjkalo je delov za Golf 2.
- v EU so ostale le še države: Slovenija, Hrvaška, BiH, Makedonija Srbija in Kosovo.
- odpadel je zadnji košček stropa v UKC-ju Ljubljana.
- na Onkološkem institutu v Ljubljani, so končno uspeli zamenjati vse vodovodne cevi.
- v javni upravi so zaposlili prvo osebo brez sorodstvenih vezi.
- končana so zadnja popravila avtoceste Ljubljana-Koper.
- predsednik uprave Luka Luka Koper, GGM, je odstopil s položaja, zaradi upokojitve.
- indijski matematiki so naprošeni s strani slovenske vlade, da nam izračunajo dolg države.
- v prirodoslovnem muzeju Slovenije, je na razstavi razstavljeno žitno klasje, razstava ima naslov: 'To se je včasih sejalo v Sloveniji'.
Na dvorišču muzeja stoji kombajn, pod njim obvestilo, da ne vedo, čemu je ta naprava nekoč koristila.
- Slovenec kandidira za Nobelovo nagrado iz kemije - z 10 centi je poskušal in naredil prvi kemijski zajtrk za svojo šestčlansko družino in še vedno sta mu v žepu ostala dva centa.
- Vlada je znižala ceno vinjete in sedaj se lahko po avtocesti vozite za manj kot 550?.
- Končan je proces v zadevi Patria, ker za afero ni več pravega zanimanja.
- Odvija se največji protest proti vladi R Slovenije. Več kot dva milijona ljudi, se je zbralo na Facebook strani: 'ŽELIM BOLJŠE ŽIVLJENJE'.
Komentiranje je ostro, lajkov je za dve strani.
Ministrstvo za notranje zadeve, je v izjavi za javnost sporočilo, da je protest minil mirno, brez izgredov, protestniki so se počasi razšli z ugašanjem računalnikov
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. Its creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
