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1..老婆:老公,我要买新衣服!
老公:你听话吗?
老婆:我不听!
老公:不听就不买。
老婆:我听话呢?
老公:乖,听话,咱不买新衣服!
老婆:你他妈的!


2.昨天晚上回家。。。。。路过一偏僻地带的时候,突然蹿出一个人,一边提裤子一边骂,卧槽尼玛!这么黑的地方你们打野炮也不吱个声,老子拉屎拉一半你来句用力点……


3.最近在喝中药,每当晚上媳妇把热好的药端给我的时候,脑子总是浮现一个画面。大郎该喝药了 ˇ


4.Lz学生,洗澡都是公共浴池,可是每次都发现洗澡出来的妹子都是戴着口罩,今天问女朋友得知原因,原来是洗澡后没化妆,不敢见人!!!


5..我哥养了9条鱼,最后只活了一条,对最后这条关怀备至,“它把其它8条都干死了,这是龙啊!”大哥,我读书少,你真别骗我.......


6.手机党,不知道怎么割……………………………………………朋友送5岁的女儿去学习跆拳道,第一天回到家后,女儿对母亲说,妈妈,你以后和别人打架要先鞠躬。


7.大庭广众,男孩俯身为女孩系着鞋带,女孩紧紧捂住嘴巴,感动的话语瞬间被憋至双眸,眼看就要化作泪水,男孩抬起头幽幽滴说:“绑紧点好,免得臭味跑出来~”


8.二货新兵给班长叠被子。指着上面的斑点问“班长,你这被子上的东西是什么?”班长觉得尴尬不好回答。突然灵光一闪,答到“这是枪油......” 枪、油、、、


9.小玲:小明,当女生胸部开始发育以后,她就有了一笔很大的财富,这就是古人说的:长胸如富!
小明: 所以说,花木兰是古今第一女吊丝,有诗为证:木兰无长胸(兄)。


10.我哥:你知道古代最能形容基友关系断裂的典故么?
我:割袍断义?一刀两断?
我哥:是三晚不过肛!
我:……

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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