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2. 晚上陪老婆看电视内容是一个女孩疯狂爱上一个已婚成功男士，老婆说：“假如现在咱们要是离了婚你可以找个年轻漂亮的小姑娘，我只能找一个不是离过婚就是丧偶的老头，真不公平！”我说：“放心吧，我们不会离婚的。”老婆很高兴，追问：“万一有年轻的女孩喜欢你怎么办？”我脑子一抽：“那也不会离婚，离婚不划算，我好不容易挣到的财产还要分走一半，还是丧偶划算……”
3. 刚才给最好的闺蜜打电话：“我怀孕了，先借我1000块钱应急！”闺蜜回道：“不好意思，我老公当家，我发了工资都放在他那。” 听完我没有再说什么，挂断了电话。哎！真是人心难测。我气愤得回手就给了床边男人一个耳光：“还敢骗我说你没钱！你老婆说她的工资都放在你那！”
4. 我老板是个女的，之前因为一直有男友，所以没买车，驾照有，却从不开车。前段时间分手后买了辆保时捷，连个倒车都不会。于是我看准时机，每天在她停车困难时帮忙，希望有朝一日能被收为正房。一个月后，我终于成为了她的司机…
5. 今天老婆又耍脾气了，嚷着要走，我也生气了，就去阳台抽烟。然后就听见老婆摔门而去的声音，我当时生气了，女人都这么爱生气，生气就往外跑，我猛抽了几口烟，就去穿衣服要去追她。正穿着，就听“噗噗”俩响屁从衣柜发出，我把衣柜打开，看见二货老婆捏着鼻子说：“实在没Hold住放俩屁。。。”
6. 一哥们约网友开房，晚上早早的就回来了，我们问他怎么回事，他说：“你们愿意和几天不洗澡的人一起睡觉吗？”你们愿意和浑身有味的人一起睡觉吗？我们说当然不愿意啊！“就是啊，人家也不愿意。。”
7. 今天去接一个因走私入狱的朋友出狱。他非常感动，说十多年来只有我一个人经常去看他，为了报答我，决定把当年走私的赃物分我一半。来到藏赃物的地点把赃物取出来一看，尼玛，一千个全新的摩托罗拉传呼机。
8. 那年小明还很单纯。有一天，他无意中从小刚那里得到了一张光盘，光盘的封面吸引了他，可是光盘下面被人写着一行字：“未成年人请在家长陪同下观看”。乖巧的小明，回家就叫来父母和爷爷奶奶，坐在电视前，迫不及待得放入了那张光盘......
9. 晚上觉得好压抑，想来一场漫无目的的旅行，呼吸一下室外的空气，于是我出门拦了一辆计程车，司机问我：“到哪？”我答：“随便！”谁曾料想司机竟向我伸出手说：“到了，十三元，谢谢！”
10. 女友带着闺蜜在家玩，我们无聊就斗地主，因为房间有点小，就在地上玩，因为闺蜜她穿小短裙不好坐在地上，所以半跪着玩了一下午。下午女朋友出去买东西，闺蜜男友来接她了，看见她膝盖。。。兄弟，你听我说，啊！不要打脸！
11.本人服装店小老板一枚，有一天小妹请假了，中午客人少，就趴在收银台小睡，在台历上写着"买衣服叫我"。醒来后发现少了好几件较贵的外套，台历上还多了一排字"不忍心吵醒你，衣服先拿走了.....
12.公交车上，上来一妖艳女人，对一小伙说，能让个坐么，我是个孕妇。
哦，那好吧，你坐你坐。
谢谢。
嗯冒昧的问一句，你怀孕几个月了。
呃呃，大概50分钟吧。
13.听说王思聪和张予馨分手了，“张予馨还唱歌吗？”，“不，唱歌的叫张含韵”；“张含韵不是演《北京爱情故事》的吗？”，“你说的是张歆艺”；“张歆艺是那个李晨的前女友吧”，“不，那个是张馨予”；“哦，刚演《智取威虎山》的张馨予，对吧”，“滚，那个是张涵予...”
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
