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屡屡被指责排外、反移民、有种族歧视问题的英国独立党(UKIP)在英国地方选举中异军突起,成为英国政坛一股不可忽视的力量。
足球方面,曼城队夺冠功臣、阵中大将亚亚·图雷与经纪人携手演出了一场荒诞的“你们都不祝我生日快乐都不跟我握手你们这是不尊重我我不开心了我想走了”的喜剧,让人哭笑不得。

大家端午节快乐~都吃的是甜粽还是肉粽啊?
恩恩,笑话库存没有了。。。接下来还是一周或两周一发啦~
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这次选举我投的是英国独立党,因为这些罗马尼亚人把我们波兰人的工作都抢走了啊!
——Dirtydave1990


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昨晚在夜店里,一个胖妹来找我搭讪。

  “如果我能重新编排字母表,我会把‘U’和‘I’放在一起……这样你就会是我的啦。”她软声向我呢喃。

  “而如果我能重新编排字母表,”我回答说,“我会把‘N’和‘O’放在它们原来就在的地方……让你有多远滚多远。”
——Rubber Jonathan


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朋友,劝你不要挑衅我,我可是拥有空手道黑带的男人,抽出来分分钟把你勒死懂不懂?
——修改自JudeMeyer



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你想说我的前妻怎样都行,但不得不承认的是,她是个善于持家的女人。

  她结婚离婚四次,但每一次房子最后的持有者都是她……
——Staffer



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所谓胸大就是正义,我就曾靠自己的胸部逃过一次超速罚单。
  警察过来时我撩起衣服冲他露了露胸,他当时就一脸作呕地转身离开口中还念念有词地说着“哦槽哥们儿你丫该减肥了好么”……
——8 ace
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我的女友说我比她年纪大太多了所以要离开我。

  我想要阻止,但她那小三轮骑得飞快怎么追也追不上啊我操。
——Unassigned

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昨晚在酒吧和一个妹子搭讪,我问她是什么工作。

  “我是个科学家。”

  哇塞,好厉害啊。

  真的很少有女人能这么淡定地说反话啊。
——Butt Pirate


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医学上有一个术语叫“带菌者”,指的是自己没有临床症状,但会感染身边的人染上疾病的病原体携带者。
  比如说,大卫·卡梅伦就是一名秽语综合征的带菌者。
——jeizus
//即图雷特氏综合症,会无法控制地骂出各种粗话脏话。下一个段子也用到了这一病症。

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有时我在想,皮尔斯·摩根会不会觉得他见到的人都有秽语综合征啊?
——cvrock
//可代入各种招黑人士使用。所谓“如果你觉得生活中人们不太讲礼貌,往往是因为你自己太招骂。”

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穆斯林妹子们是不是经常要头疼撞衫问题啊……
——Unassigned



曼城老板跑去球队更衣室去关爱亚亚·图雷受伤的心灵。

  “真的很对不起啊,亚亚,”他说,“确实忘记你的生日太不好了。但是现在我已经努力补过课了,关于你的一切我都了如指掌,有什么事儿你尽管问吧……”

  “好啊,”只听图雷从房间另一头大声喊,“你这话为什么是跟理查兹说?”
——Biscuit777
//大家仍然津津乐道球场上的黑人长得都一样


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老婆有个习惯我是真的觉得很烦:

  她一直在呼吸。
——Cumquat

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我买了一块“觉得我性感,你就按喇叭”的车贴。
  然后每次红绿灯变绿时我就等着不踩油门,以此来治愈自己的心灵……
——reddit用户Jakematt2004

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我们的女儿很小的时候就天天做梦想要结婚当新娘。
  于是我们全家都皈依了伊斯兰教。
——Rocket11
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上次拿到一包“英式早餐”味的乐事薯片,于是我就好奇地拆开吃。第一片是香肠味儿的,第二片是番茄酱鸡蛋味儿的,那么第三片是什么味道的呢?

  呵呵中招了吧:怎么可能有第三片嘛!
——Harrylechat
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世界上最安静的一张专辑是?
  《史蒂芬·霍金不插电》
——Lovelace

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为什么英国独立党的党魁奈杰尔·法拉奇,媒体给他拍的照片,经常都是拍到他在酒吧里喝酒呢?
  因为你想啊,在这个世界上,要想躲穆斯林,还能有比这更好的方法吗……
——chalky

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I used to have a girlfriend who suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts, but now I don't.
  我曾经有一个女友经常抑郁想要自杀的,现在没有了。
——Luke Bernie

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A masked man came into my shop today.
  今天我们店里进来一个蒙面人。
  He handed me a briefcase and said, "Fill this!"
  他递给我一个公文包说:“把这个装满!”
  "Oh wow," I replied, stroking the handle, "Is it real leather?"
  “哦哇,”我边说边去摸把手,“这是真皮的哦?”
(“Fill this”音近“Feel this”你摸摸/你感受一下)
——SilverSprint

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Old McDonald had a farm. EU, EU,... oh.
  老麦克唐纳有一个农场,欧盟,欧盟……喔。
  Old McDonald no longer has a farm.
  老麦克唐纳他没有农场了。
——8 ace


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乐购超市推出免费一分钟快速检测HIV服务,还送安全套。
  于此同时,Lidl超市的购物者们,则可享受免费的衣原体病检测,还可以低价买到铁丝衣架……
——Jack Cheese
//铁丝衣架是西方常用的简易堕胎工具




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好友的妻子去世已经第三天,我对这位朋友说,其实我很想睡他妻子。
  “唉,你为什么等到现在才告诉我呢……”他说。
  我不解:“我完全没等啊……”
——shard 发布于 恋尸癖 栏目

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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