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Sveiki,



Anekdotai apie motociklus ir jų vairuotojus.

1. Važiuoja du pankai motociklu.
Vienas šaukia:
- Stabdyk, stabdyk, katinas eina!
Pervažiavo katiną, važiuoja toliau ir vėl šaukia:
- Stabdyk, stabdyk, senutė eina!
Pervažiavo senutę;
Trečią kartą šaukia:
- Stabdyk, stabdyk, berniukas eina, stabdyk!
Kitas atsako:
- Tu už vairo tu ir stabdyk!



2. Kodėl pykstasi dvi blondinės prieš sėsdamos ant motociklo? Ginčijasi, kuri sėsis prie lango...



3. Baikeris prisirūkė žolės. Akys raudonos, atsisėdo ant motociklo ir save įtikinėja: "jeigu sustabdys policija, tai sakysiu, kad vėjas smarkiai pūtė ir akys paraudonavo".
Sustabdo jį policininkas ir klausia:
- Tai ką smarkiai vėjas pūtė, kad akys paraudonavo?
Baikeris:
- Ne, žolės prisirūkiau!



4. Eina Petriukas po kaimo šokių su panele ir toji čiauškia be perstojo, o Petriukas tyli. Galvoja jis - reikia ir man ką nors pasakyti. Bet minčių kaip nėra taip nėra.
Mergička jį klausinėja:
- Kuo tu vardu?
- Nu, Petras.
"Na reikia ir man kažko paklausti" - galvoja Petras. Jau kaupias, kaupias... Bet mergička pirmiau užklausia:
- Na, o kiek tau metu?
- Nu, 19 - burbteli Petras ir vėl pradeda ruošti klausimą. Jau tuoj pasakys... Bet mergiotė vėl pirma:
- O tu, Petrai, nenori manęs pabučiuoti?
Petras pakštelėjo į žanduką ir jau vėl kaupiasi klausimui. Bet vėl ta čiauškalė įsikišo:
- O tu jau mylėjaisi su mergina, Petriuk?
- Nu, ne.
- O tu manęs nieko nenori paklausti?
Na Petras jau visas susikaupęs išrėžė:
- Klausyk, o tu nežinai iš kur gauti Javos karburiatorių?



5. Sėdi porelė vakare po alyvų krūmu mėnesienoje.
- Ar matai tą mažą žvaigždelę danguje?
- Aha, matau...
- Ten tu... O ar matai ana didelę žvaigždę?
- Matau...
- Tai va ten aš esu.
Po kurio laiko jis vėl klausia:
- O matai va tas dvi žvaigždes didesnę ir mažesnę viena ant kitos?
Ji viltingai prisiglaudžia arčiau:
- Taip, matau, matau, matau.
- Tai va, ten - aš ant javos!



6. Du skeletai klajoja po kapines, pamato motocikla ir sulipa ant jo. Staiga vienas pašoka, gryžta prie kapo ir parsineša ant nugaros antkapį.
- Ka tai reikštų?- klausia kitas.
- Aš juk negaliu važiuoti be dokumentų, - atsako šis



7. Ejo kiskis su lokiu per miska ir sutiko stebuklinga varle,o ta sako:
-Jeigu nieko nedarysit ispildisiu po 3 norus.Lokys sako:
-Noriu kad viso sito misko lokiai taptu lokemis.
Kiskis:
-noriu salmo.
Lokys:
-noriu kad aplinkiniu misku lokiai taptu lokemis.
Kiskis:
-Noriu motociklo.
Lokys:
-Noriu,kad viso pasaulio lokiai taptu lokemis.
Kiskis nuvaziuodama su motociklu:
-Noriu,kad jis taptu p-y-d-a-r-u!!!!!



8. Skambutis iš lavoninės į sporto prekių parduotuvę:
- Kiek jus šiandien motociklų pardavėte?
- 18, o ką?
- Tai kur gi dar vieną velniai nešioja?



9. Aš neknarkiu, man motociklai sapnuojasi.



10. Vaikinas susitaupęs perka „britvą” (motociklą).
„Būsiu achujenas, kaip Linas iš NL dainos” – galvoja.
Tikrina komplektaciją.
- Instrukcija yra, keletas raktų yra, maža vaistinėlė yra ir gražiai supakuota juoda moteriška skarelė.
- O kuriems velniams ta skarelė?
- Tai nemokamai. Jūsų mamai.



Vitaminai akims....









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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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