Esim - 1.13
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1.我一个吊丝女同事真是演技派的。。。。。。。。。一天几个同事小聚,带他们去我经常跟老婆吃饭的餐厅吃饭,老板上菜跟我打招呼,自然的问一句,今天老婆没带过来?我正准备回答,我那女同事一拍桌子,大吼一声,老娘就是他老婆!!歇斯底里的问老板,你说的那个女人是谁!?抓着我的领子做琼瑶剧般咆哮,是谁??!到底是谁???!老板见状一愣,脸由红到白,立刻推了出去,全桌子爆笑,我一脸黑线,女同事得意的说等着打折吧,饭后我去结账,老板歉意的说,兄弟,真不知道之前你带的是情况,刚才都怪我多嘴,回去跟嫂子解释一下就说我认错人了,这顿饭算我的,实在对不住啊。我。。。。。。

2.一同学在荷兰留学。。。。咯咯咯。。。。跟我抱怨荷兰风大,我说那你当时怎么想起来去荷兰留学了。他说当时就觉着荷兰有风车,很浪漫。但是忘了想想Tmd为什么会有风车。。。。。还不是因为风多


3.某名仕向身边的美女滔滔不绝地炫耀如何从哪几个方面辨别真正成功人士: 1、没有名片;2、自己不开车;3、衣服没logo;4、没有小区名,只有门牌号;5、每天午睡;6、经常在郊区活动;7、包里现金很少……旁边一位农民兴奋地打断:“这种人,我们村全是!”


4.本人超级爱猫,家有7岁大懒猫一枚。
~~~~~华丽的分割线~~~~~
某夜熟睡中的我,翻身,感到身下的垫子超乎寻常的柔软和温暖,享受ing,突然回过神来-----不对,是猫被压在身下了。赶快起身,开灯,查看。那猫肚皮朝上,四脚朝天,已经被压平了。我赶紧探鼻息,没感觉到呼吸。吓得我拼命摇晃其身体,大呼其闺名。就在我以为它已经真的挂了的时候,这货微睁开左眼,瞄了一眼,翻身继续睡。


5.发一刚看到的……哥哥刚做过………………一哥们在同桌毕业留言本上写的:最好的兄弟是,睡在上铺的哥们,最喜欢的人是,同桌的你。最难忘的事…睡在上铺的兄弟带走了同桌的你……………

6.生儿子是剖腹产,故有很长一刀疤!儿子去年做过疝气手术,小腹上也有刀疤!儿子问:“你怎么有刀疤?”答“医生在妈妈肚子上开个门把宝宝拿出来啊”儿子似懂非懂的看着自己的刀疤“那我的儿子哪里去了

7.我的手机有两个电池,一个不管冲多久也不会显示充满,另一个哪怕电量耗光了插上去立即显示充电完成,我只想说你们俩这么耍我有意思么……

8.暑假。回家的车上,家里发了个短信问我想吃什么说提前给准备。我想了想给了个菜单:龙井虾仁、东坡肘子、西湖醋鱼、黄泥煨鸡、锅烧填鸭、清炖蟹粉狮子头……短信刚发出不久就有了回复:吃屁去吧,别回来了,老子养不起你……

9.家有五年级老弟一坨。。。
——————岳氏不群,弃我于此——————————
动手能力特别强,喜欢挑战极限,最近对各种家用电器充满了狂热的好奇心。。。
上个月测试了老爸的手机防水性能,果断被暴揍一顿。。
更神奇的是。。昨晚硬是给我的无线鼠标接了条线出来。。。

10.今天上午,单位一大姐说:“我们小区有辆小宝马,还是翻盖儿的!”

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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