Esim - 12.29
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1.真人真事。。。。直接过。。。听朋友讲她自己的糗事。。她哺乳期间奶水很足。。。
一次,撇下孩子,和老公出去看电影。。因为看得时间长。。奶水胀得慌。。。见电影院黑漆漆的。。于是想放松一下。。结果没有捂住呈一条线状喷出去了。。。直接喷到前排某男的头上。。。只听那男的向后面吼了一句:看电影就看电影,玩个什么水枪。。。.
2.看了几天《甄嬛传》,跟室友说话开始拿腔拿调的,“咦,你今儿买的蛋糕是极好的,厚重的芝士配上浓郁的慕斯,是最好不过的了。我愿多品几口,虽会体态渐腴,倒也不负恩泽。”“说人话。”“......蛋糕真好吃,我还要再吃一块。
3.A:我要和我老婆离婚!
B:为什么?
A:她外面有人
B:不会吧!可能是你误会了
A:婚姻要是有了欺骗那还有什么意思
B:她怎么骗你了
A:她昨夜彻夜未归,说在她表妹家
B:你怎么确定就不在她表妹家
A:额、总之就是没有
B:禽兽啊!
4.自从老婆怀孕了,每次我稍微示好献殷勤,她就踢着我的小JJ,你已经完成你的使命了,可以退出历史舞台了......
5.同学成绩很差,考试经常考零分, 有次考过试老师发卷子,叫到该同学:"母鸡… 来拿回你的东西……, 随后老师又说:两手!两手! 别把蛋打破了!
6.某牛奶广告做的真好,中国小朋友把牛奶倒给这个倒给那个,全世界都喝了就她自己没喝,中国小孩就是聪明,知道这牛奶喝不得
7.大隐于市,大学高数老师,神人,小老头,南京很多高校的高数教材都是用的他的版本,常年参加各种会议,出国常事,平时穿着体面。
暑假珠江路打工,乎见一小老头骑着破自行车,穿汗背心,大裤衩,人字拖给我打招呼,没错!就是他!

8.一句话不割咯~目前中国解放军给我留下最深刻的印象就是叠被子很厉害。
9.肉丝,嫁给我吧。”
“我怕我配不上你,我曾经有一段刻骨铭心的惨痛经历。”
“说出来吧,不管是什么,我都能接受。”
“我爱杰克。”
“接的多吗?”…
10.平壤:大哥,我们准备放个大炮仗,吓吓南边和东边的狗,先和您说一声。
北京:……唔,这个……神马时候?
平壤:十……
北京:十月份?我们国庆节,不太好。
平壤:九……
北京:九月我们在筹备国庆节,还是不太好。
平壤:八……
北京:建军节呢,抢风头不好吧?
平壤:七……
北京:恩,我们过生日,可以考虑让你们助助兴。
平壤:六、五、四、三……

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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