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1.带三岁的儿子偏食，不喜欢喝牛奶，带他去逛商场，遇到一黑人兄弟，儿子问我：他怎么那么黑？我说那是因为他不喝牛奶就变黑了。结果这黑货转头来了句：她骗你！噢~你叫老娘情何以堪！！！
2.儿子的愿望是长大当警察，见到警察就很High，上周末带他去商场，等红绿灯的时候这货看见路边的交警高兴地又招手又做鬼脸，当交警走过来的时候我就悲催了，儿呀，你妈我忘带驾照了！！！你这是货真价实地坑妈呀！
3.今去哥哥家玩，小侄子给我开的门，开完门看到我之后就往回跑，边跑边嚷：大王大王！那个毛脸雷公嘴的猴子又来了！
4.在外边下棋，小侄女拉屎，叫＂叔叔，帮我擦屁股＂我说找你爸爸，然后看见她弯着腰背对着我一步一步退过来，嘴上说着＂请注意，倒车，请注意，倒车＂
5.有一朋友女儿四岁半，总是缠着妈妈买零食吃，昨天她又缠着要买吃的，妈妈告诉她的钱因为为她买东西花完了，然后提示她想办法，她想了一会以征求的语气问我说：把爸爸卖了吧？妈妈说，把爸爸卖了就没爸爸了，你是想要爸爸呢还是想要好东西吃呢？女儿想了一会有点忍痛割爱的说：还是把爸爸卖了吧。
6.我家是农村的，好多人种油菜，现在开花季节，味道真的很香……阴阳分割……昨天下午闲来无事，跑到一大片油菜地中间去亲近大自然，看微信附近的人，100米以内竟然有七个妹纸，哥往四周一瞅，黄灿灿的油菜花中间偶尔出现几个坟头，一个人影都木，瞬间，菊花一紧，默默的关掉微信，轻轻的离开了那里……希望以后上坟的人们不要在烧爱疯和挨拍了…
7.记者在街头采访老太太，记者:“请谈谈今天大风对您生活的影响好吗？”老太太:“哎呀，妈呀，今天风老大了，刚才我和我老头出来逛街，咦，我老头呢？！”
8.和女朋友同住了一晚上第二天就和我分手了，一直在朋友们似懂非懂的眼神里活着
9.和老公异地恋，此为背景。一次好不容易见面了，半夜突然醒来转头看老公，他也醒着在看我，顿时内心觉得特柔软，可温存的搂着老公唤他，他开口了--------哥哥-------------
“老婆，你能不能往里面睡点，我半个身子都在床外了，冻醒了”我：！！！！10.一网友的深深疑问：“突然发现外国人是亚当和夏娃的子孙，为毛我们是炎帝和黄帝这两个男人的子孙，我不禁陷入了深深的思考”
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
