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Napisat ću viceve i ljude za koje ja mislim da bi trebali uć u kongres.




Prvo vicevi:


Dođe svećenik u selo, al mu se nije dalo radit.Pprva misa ujutro...Znate li vi što ću vam ja danas pričati?-kaže svećenik-znamoo-kažu ljudi, ako znate onda dobro i ode on. Sljedeći dan na misi znate li vi što ću vam ja danas pričati?-neznamo!!!!-ako neznate ne trebate ni znatiii.-i ode on...
Selo se pobunilo.dogovorili su se da će pola reć znamo pola neznamo. sljedeće jutro dosla je misa... znate li vi što vam ja danas pričtiiiiiiiiii? i oni odgovore- znam, neznam, znam, neznam, znam, nezam.... oni koj znaju neka kažu onima koji neznaju!!!-i ode.


Provali lopov u kuću i krene krast,kad ono neko iza njega govori kreštavim glasom-Bog sve vidi , Bog sve vidi!!! okrene se i vidi papigu. a kako je tebi ime papigo? anđelko, anđelko! pa čudno je to ime za papigu... pa čudno je i ime Bog za rotvajlera-odgovori ona.


Otišli Amerikanac, Bosanac i Hrvat u Afriku, stavili čep u guzicu da kad prdnu kome će
ćep dalje odletit. Prdne Amerikanac od čep 1km. Prdne Hrvat ode 2km. Prdne Bosanac ode čep skroz u Japan. Vrate se one kućama i čuju na vjestima: Neki nepoznati projektil ubio babu u Japanu!


Izlazi Mujo iz lekarske ordinacije, okrene se prema doktoru i upita:
Kakvu ste ono rekli da imam ribu?
Nemaš ribu, imaš rak.


Zaposlio se Mujo kao kustos muzeja ali ništa nije znao, te je počeo izmišljati:
„Dragi posjetioci, ovo vam je lubanja od Kulina bana.“
Na to ga jedan od posjetioca upita:
„A ova manja?“
Mujo: „Isto njegova, ali kad je bio mali.“


Vuk i Crvenkapica

Šetala Crvenkapica šumom i naiđe na vuka.
- "Vuče, zašto imaš tako velike oči?"
- "Ma pusti me, vidiš da serem" - odgovori vuk.


ONA: Ciao DRAGI!
ON: Ma konačno, kako to već dugo čekam!
ONA: Želiš li da odem?
ON: NE! Kako ti pada napamet? Već sama pomisao na to me plaši!
ONA: Voliš li me?
ON: Naravno! U svako doba dana i noći!
ONA: Jesi li me ikada prevario??
ON: NE! Nikada! Zašto to uopće pitaš?
ONA: Hoćeš li me poljubiti?
ON: Da, svaki put kad mi se samo pruži prilika za to!
ONA: Hoćeš li me ikada udariti?
ON: Jesi li poludjela? Pa znaš dobro kakav sam!
ONA: Mogu li ti u potpunosti vjerovati?
ON: Da.
ONA: Ljubavi...

SEDAM GODINA NAKON VJENČANJA: Tekst jednostavno pročitati odozdo prema gore.....!


Bio Ivica pred pločom.
Kaže njemu učiteljica :
Ivice nacrtaj mi nešto okruglo!
I Ivica nacrta guzicu kazni njega učiteljica i reče
mu da ode vani u hodnik.
I dođe ravnatelj do Ivice i pita ga:
Ivice gdje ti je učiteljica,
a Ivica mu odgovori:
Eno je u učionici briše guzicu!!!!!!!


Prvašić pita tatu:
-tata kako sam ja došao na svijet
-pa sine donijela te roda
-e tata i ti svašta jebeš


ŠKOLSKI RIJEČNIK

UČIONICA-kuća strave

RODITELJSKI-bal vampira

ŠKOLSKA GODINA:cilj:
ostati živ!

ZBORNICA:kuća zlih duhova!!

ZADNJA KLUPA-slatki život
Tu ja sjedim
POČETAK NASTAVE-dobar dan tugo

USMENO REŠETANJE-teško je biti sam

PRVA KLUPA-samoubojstvo

PLOČA-zelena smrt

PISMENI-mučenje mozga

NEDJELJA-jedan dan života

PETICA-šta je to

JEDINICA-naša svakodnevnica,državni
neprijatelj no1.

DVOJKA-veseli se srećo moja

TROJKA-na zapadu ništa novo

ŠKOLSKO ZVONO-izbavitelj

ŠAPTAČI-prijatelji stari gdje ste

DNEVNIK-popis mučenika(i to abecednim redom)

ŠKOLA-sivi dom

VELIKI ODMOR-put prema raju

NASTAVNIČKO VIJEĆE-vukodlaci zavijaju

MALI ODMOR-pet minuta raja

LJETNI PRAZNICI-prohujalo s vjetrom

WC-gori vatra

UČENICI-robovi

PROFESORI-robovlasnici

KREDA-bijela smrt

SPUŽVA-izgovor da se izađe

KRAJ ŠKOLSKE GODINE-biti ili nebiti pitanje je sad!!!



POPIS LJUDI KOJI BI PO MOJEM MIŠLJENJU TREBALI UĆI U KONGRES:
(na dan 23.5.2013 18:30 sati)

niksap

NEWENKO

Kapetan_Balvan

miniclipo

rajko21

AsharaK

Sertinjo13

Mr WereWolf

puxi

plJosipovic

Picoskop

Baddaku

FrkS

MladenCRO

Ivan505

CikaSpasoje

BigZ

zmataga

Sokol_the_biggest

zvonzi

IGRAČI IZMEĐU KOJIH SE DVOUMIM:

Master_Blaster

ChangedNick2

host of seraphim

Utoka

Spartakus


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VICEVI (12 years ago)

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TOP 10 COUNTRIES SALARIES[DAY 630] (12 years ago)

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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.


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